Loglines are descriptions of plots which are efforts to achieve objective goals, not resolve subjective problems like coming to accept an accidental death of a loved one.

In the script ?achieving the objective goal often hinges on resolving the subjective problem. But, to repeat, a logline should not focus on resolving the subjective problem in order to achieve the objective goal. ?A logline should focus on the effort to achieve the objective goal.

Ergo, the resolution of the subjective problem is only dramatically relevant in the context of the struggle for an objective goal.

And descriptions of plots in a logline should be face forward in time — not backward.

(A good movie you might want to view and study in terms of the emotional issue you seem to be interested in — coming to terms with an accidental death — is ?”Ordinary People”.)

fwiw

Not sure how to word the logline because I’m still not clear on, hence, sold on the premise.

One thing I am sure of, however, is you need to settle on a sport and embed it into the logline because how the story plays out will depend on the particulars of that sport.

Movie makers aren’t looking for a generic concept into which they can plug any sport. ?They are looking for you to figure that all out yourself, to present them with a polished script that is, yes, a new and funny take on an old genre.

>>>But then you?ve got a lot of characters and relationships to define and work around. Especially training,etc.

That’s your job as a writer to learn all there is to know about the sport and figure out the details. ?I’m writing ?a coming of age script about a high school basketball season and in doing my research, I discovered an obscure rule that is so cool for a plot twist, I reworked my script to utilize it. ?If I had assumed that just because I played basketball in high school, I knew all there was to know to write the script, I would have not have known about the obscure rule — and my script would be the lesser for it.

Just saying.

>>>It?s not so much that the audience should care if they win

Actually, it does matter. ?It’s the nature of the genre. ?Every genre is defined by its set of stock characters and stock situations and the audience expects to see them. ?They don’t have to win the championship ?but hiring a new coach has got to make a difference on the scoreboard. ?(Or at least the guy has got to get the girl in the end ?– like in “Bull Durham”.) ?Otherwise, what’s the point of the plot? ?What changes?

fwiw