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Astrolia: When a man goes missing on an archaeological dig his brilliant but narrow-minded niece discovers his secret double life and her own connection to an ancient prophecy in a world she never knew existed.
>>Actually, your guess is incorrect. The discovery is actually the catalyst for the rest of the season and is revealed in episode 2 which is the second half of the pilot.Okay. What part of the discovery is revealed in the pilot episode? ?That he's living a double life? Or her own connection toRead more
>>Actually, your guess is incorrect. The discovery is actually the catalyst for the rest of the season and is revealed in episode 2 which is the second half of the pilot.
Okay. What part of the discovery is revealed in the pilot episode? ?That he’s living a double life? Or her own connection to an ancient prophecy? ?Both?
I still think the logline needs a polish. ?However, if this version gets the read and sold, then mission accomplished and I’ll be happy to have been proven wrong.
>>>based on a novel that I decided not to publish
If the novel were published that could be an even more effective promotion than a logline.
Just saying.
See lessSTRANGER TO BLUE WATER – When the sheltered daughter of a disabled coal miner falls for a Trinidadian man passing through town on a sales call , she’s torn between staying in the rinky dead end pennsylvania borough caring for her crippled racist dad or leaving with her dark mysterious lover on an adventure in the Caribbean.
>>>torn betweenIn other words, she's trapped in a dilemma.1] But loglines are not about dilemmas about decisions a character will eventually have to make. ?Loglines are about the decisions made. Decisions that either 1] Resolve ?a dilemma (for better or worse) early in the story or 2] CreatRead more
>>>torn between
In other words, she’s trapped in a dilemma.
1] But loglines are not about dilemmas about decisions a character will eventually have to make. ?Loglines are about the decisions made. Decisions that either 1] Resolve ?a dilemma (for better or worse) early in the story or 2] Create an unanticipated dilemma further down the road of the plot..
2] And the logline presents a false dilemma. ?The choices presented in this logline do not constitute a true dilemma because they are not of exclusive and?equal value. ?In ?a true dilemma both options are either equally desirable or equally undesirable ?- but in either case the character must choose one to the exclusion of the other. ?She can’t have both (if desirable); neither can she decline to choose either (if undesirable).
“Staying in the rinky dead end Pennsylvania borough” versus “an adventure in the Caribbean. — ?obviously, the latter is of more value to the character, more interesting, more alluring. ?So what’s stopping her from leaving town (other than cowardice)?
See less1892 Mycroft Holmes newly appointed to MI5 investigates a plan to undermine England’s position in Afghanistan not knowing the villains are a young Sherlock and Moriarty.
>>>to undermine England?s position in AfghanistanLooking backward from the present tense of the perspective and sensibility of modern movie viewers, wouldn't that make S&M heroes, not villains?>>investigates a planOnly investigate?Isn't his objective goal to stop their heroic actiRead more
>>>to undermine England?s position in Afghanistan
Looking backward from the present tense of the perspective and sensibility of modern movie viewers, wouldn’t that make S&M heroes, not villains?
>>investigates a plan
Only investigate?
Isn’t his objective goal to stop their heroic action? ?Whatever it is — that needs to be more specific, too. ?Exactly how do they plan to “undermine” the Evil Empire ?in that region? ?And exactly what must Mycroft do about it?
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