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  1. Posted: February 27, 2017In: Drama

    when a freedom believer urges his tribe to be free, he gets caught by another tribe to be sold asa slave .

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 27, 2017 at 10:47 pm

    This is a good ironic setup for a plot. ?The stakes are clear and high: his freedom. ?What's missing from the logline is the course of action that drives the rest of the plot. ?That is, what does he do, what must he do after being captured and sold as a slave?The logline needs to indicate where theRead more

    This is a good ironic setup for a plot. ?The stakes are clear and high: his freedom. ?

    What’s missing from the logline is the course of action that drives the rest of the plot. ?That is, what does he do, what must he do after being captured and sold as a slave?

    The logline needs to indicate where the story is going after he’s captured and sold? Is the plot about a protagonist who struggles to escape before he’s shipped off? ?Struggles to survive the “middle passage”? ?Struggles to survive as a slave in the US or Caribbean or Brazil or wherever he ends up? ?What is the story about?

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  2. Posted: February 27, 2017In: Drama

    When a fatherless stoner takes a job in a 1980s mafia-backed night club and discovers his bosses are his biological brothers, he must decide if a life crime is worth his new family.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 27, 2017 at 2:39 pm

    A logline is about what a protagonist?decides to do at the end of the 1st as a result of the inciting incident. ? Whatever he decides to do ?becomes the action that drives the rest of the story, Acts 2 and 3.Taken at face value, this logline means that at the end of Act 1, the stoner will spend ?ActRead more

    A logline is about what a protagonist?decides to do at the end of the 1st as a result of the inciting incident. ? Whatever he decides to do ?becomes the action that drives the rest of the story, Acts 2 and 3.

    Taken at face value, this logline means that at the end of Act 1, the stoner will spend ?Acts 2 & 3 deciding whether to decide if a life of crime is worth his new family. ?Not doing, just ?standing there on the sidelines deciding to decide.

    What the character needs to do in this setup is commit to a course of action as a result of the discovery that his bosses are his biological brothers. ? Not “decide if” ?but decide and DO. ? He needs to stop wavering on the sidelines and get involved, play the game — the plot ?– on the field. ?Or get involved in another game, another plot, on another field. He needs to do something.

    Just like Michael Corleone. ?After the 1st assassination attempt on his father, Michael actually does waver for a brief period. ?He sits (literally) on the sidelines unable to decide what to do. ?

    (That’s a standard plot device, btw, for the protagonist to engage in a few — not many, not extended– “Hesitate and Debate” beats ?before deciding what to DO. ?In the “Hero’s Journey” paradigm that’s known as the “Refuse the Call” phase.)

    But when they try again to kill his father again, Michael comes off the sidelines and acts. He doesn’t spend the entire 2nd and 3rd Acts of “The Godfather” deciding “if” ?or “whether” to get involved in the family business,. ?He DOES get involved in a way where there’s no going back to the sidelines. ?He can never disentangle himself from a career as a mafia boss no matter how hard he tries to extricate himself, to become a legitimate businessman.

    And it’s his decision. ?Nobody makes it for him. ?Nobody cajoles, bullies or seduces him into getting involved in the family business. It’s his idea. He takes the initiative. He commits to a tragic course of action — but at least he’s doing something, And what he does results is one of the Great American Movies.?

    So after discovering his bosses are his brothers, what does the stoner DO? ?What course of action does he take? ?What must he do about it? ?And what ‘s at stake?

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: February 27, 2017In: Historical

    A desperate African King of 1890s must unite independent neighboring warlords, who are conspiring against him; to save their common country from upcoming European colonial invaders and to fulfill the revolutionary dreams of a patriotic Emperor whom he has betrayed to death

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 27, 2017 at 7:08 am

    A logline ?is a pithy statement of the spine of the story, ?the spine stripped bare of all the meat and other skeletal bones. ?And the spine seems to be:In the 1890's, an Ethiopian king struggles to unite feuding tribes to defend the independence of his ancient kingdom against an invading Italian arRead more

    A logline ?is a pithy statement of the spine of the story, ?the spine stripped bare of all the meat and other skeletal bones. ?And the spine seems to be:

    In the 1890’s, an Ethiopian king struggles to unite feuding tribes to defend the independence of his ancient kingdom against an invading Italian army.
    (24 words)

    All the rest is backstory and complication (skeleton and meat). ?Based on what I know about the history of that troubled country, there is no lack of material to flesh out a fantastic story. ? This is a film I want to see. So I give this story idea an enthusiastic thumbs up. ?Best wishes with your script.

    P.S. ?I would ID the country as “Ethiopia” because it is a more familiar term than Abyssinia.

    fwiw

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