1. Posted: February 1, 2017In:

    ?Young Nick teams up with his buddies for an evening on the town, but after being double-crossed, the night turns into a wild plot to mete out revenge on a local dealer and his mobster associates.? ? RUFF-N-TUMBLE NIGHT by Judah Ray ?

    dpg Singularity

    What's the inciting incident that motivates him to seek revenge?

    What’s the inciting incident that motivates him to seek revenge?

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  2. Posted: February 1, 2017In:

    “A man caught in the wrong place, at the wrong time, must battle unthinkable odds to deliver a package, and not miss the most rewarding moment of his life.” – ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES by Judah Ray ?

    dpg Singularity

    Needs more tell, less tease. What is the specific inciting incident ?that catches the man "in the wrong place at the wrong time"? And what's at stake? ?WHY must he deliver the package battling "unthinkable odds"? ?(Better: overwhelming odds.) ?Is?"the most rewarding moment in his life" a tease aboutRead more

    Needs more tell, less tease.

    What is the specific inciting incident ?that catches the man “in the wrong place at the wrong time”?

    And what’s at stake? ?WHY must he deliver the package battling “unthinkable odds”? ?(Better: overwhelming odds.) ?Is?”the most rewarding moment in his life” a tease about the stakes? ?Or does it refer to something else?

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  3. Posted: February 1, 2017In:

    ?A young mother?s life descends into chaos, when her husband talks her into helping him complete a job, as a contract killer, assassinating drug dealers, in the Philippines, but when a job goes wrong, and as a result, her husband is killed, and her children kidnapped, she will stop at nothing to meet revenge and save her kids.? ? SHABU by Judah Ray ?

    dpg Singularity

    While a logline should disclose the protagonist's objective goal, it need not give away spoilers about the consequences of that goal, in this instance chaos. ?And in any event, the hook of the story is the not the chaos, but the character, the kind of woman would become a contract killer. And what iRead more

    While a logline should disclose the protagonist’s objective goal, it need not give away spoilers about the consequences of that goal, in this instance chaos. ?And in any event, the hook of the story is the not the chaos, but the character, the kind of woman would become a contract killer.

    And what is the inciting incident, the event that constitute her “Call” to become a contract killer?

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