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  1. Posted: October 29, 2016In: Thriller

    Two overly curious high-schooler use their new found psychic power to investigate a flawlessly executed homicide, unknowingly by them that the murderer also possesses such prowess who uses it to hunt them down, which results in a run and chase in both physical and sub-conscious world.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 30, 2016 at 2:45 am

    The concept has promise but I think it needs polishing.Why 2 protagonists? ? It ?is usually better to focus the logline and script on one protagonist. ?Whoever gets the nod can have a sidekick/reflector character, of course and the sidekick can have psychic powers -- but not as powerful as the protaRead more

    The concept has promise but I think it needs polishing.

    Why 2 protagonists? ? It ?is usually better to focus the logline and script on one protagonist. ?Whoever gets the nod can have a sidekick/reflector character, of course and the sidekick can have psychic powers — but not as powerful as the protagonist. ? (But the sidekick/reflector character need not be mentioned in the logline. ?The protagonist owns the spotlight in a logline, doesn’t share it with friends or allies.)

    Also the logline needs to indicate ?the gender of the lead because that’s a primary piece of information ?movie makers are looking for in a logline.

    In addition, ?the antagonist’s objective goal needs to be bluntly stated: ?he’s not just “hunting them down” — he’s out to kill them, right? ?The stakes for the protagonist are ?mortal.

    Finally, the logline needs to focus on the objective goal of the protagonist in response to the threat of the antagonist. ?What must the protagonist do when he/she realizes the murderer is coming after him/her?

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: October 28, 2016In: Examples

    A team of young superheroes carry out covert missions to prove that they are worthy to join the Justice League.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 28, 2016 at 1:11 pm

    Haven't seen it. ?But the IMDB blurb, fwiw, has a specific hook and has them doing something more than just investigating. ? The specific hook is ?the elite Justice League. ?And their objective goal is not merely to investigate but to ?struggle to join. They are young superheroes striving to prove tRead more

    Haven’t seen it. ?But the IMDB blurb, fwiw, has a specific hook and has them doing something more than just investigating. ? The specific hook is ?the elite Justice League. ?And their objective goal is not merely to investigate but to ?struggle to join. They are young superheroes striving to prove themselves worthy to be members of the Justice League.

    In terms of marketing the series, it benefits, of course, by being a knock off of the existing DC comic book franchise.

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  3. Posted: October 26, 2016In: Comedy

    When a pregnant schoolteacher learns that her father is the half-man/half-bear who slaughtered her family, she teams up with a transexual scientist to convince the monster in becoming the high school mascot.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 28, 2016 at 7:36 am

    What the others have said. ?Even for a comedy, why would anyone want to persuade the murderer of her family to become a high school mascot -- or anything else other than a convicted prisoner doing a life sentence in prison? ?The logic of the logline just doesn't compile and execute.

    What the others have said. ?Even for a comedy, why would anyone want to persuade the murderer of her family to become a high school mascot — or anything else other than a convicted prisoner doing a life sentence in prison? ?The logic of the logline just doesn’t compile and execute.

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