Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A team of young superheroes carry out covert missions to prove that they are worthy to join the Justice League.
Agree with Richiev. ?"Struggle" is over used in loglines, amounts to a cliche. ?Logline writers should "struggle" ?to use alternative and more specific verbs.
Agree with Richiev. ?”Struggle” is over used in loglines, amounts to a cliche. ?Logline writers should “struggle” ?to use alternative and more specific verbs.
See lessA once-promising boxer turns to highline crime to save his cancer-stricken mother. But when an Aryan Brotherhood kingpin threatens the mother of his unborn child, he must confront the demons of his past – even if it means paying the ultimate price.
What Richiev said. What's the real inciting incident? ?And what is the cause-and-effect relationship to the objective goal? And what IS the objective goal, anyway? "Confront demons of his past' is vague, needs a translation into a specific choice of action to attain a specific goal.
What Richiev said.
What’s the real inciting incident? ?And what is the cause-and-effect relationship to the objective goal?
And what IS the objective goal, anyway? “Confront demons of his past’ is vague, needs a translation into a specific choice of action to attain a specific goal.
See lessWhen a researcher creates a technology that can see anything from the last twenty four hours, a former FBI profiler must find him before the private assassins of a corrupt politician he exposed.
JasonF:You are correct that usually a logline should not contain spoilers.However, after reading your comments, it still seems to me that the scientist has more skin in the game. ?The profiler only has his reputation at stake. ?The scientist has his life. ?For the purpose of dramatic suspense in a tRead more
JasonF:
You are correct that usually a logline should not contain spoilers.
However, after reading your comments, it still seems to me that the scientist has more skin in the game. ?The profiler only has his reputation at stake. ?The scientist has his life. ?For the purpose of dramatic suspense in a thriller movie, life always trumps reputation.
And he still seems to be the more interesting character with the greater character arc. ?Describing him as “naive” means he has a lot of growing up to do in coming to terms with the consequences of his invention — and his own talent. ?In comparison, what’s the character arc of the FBI profiler other than getting to vindicate himself, prove to everyone else he was right all along.
?(Vindication is a worthy dramatic motivation, of course — but in this story, ?I get a sense of a stronger emotional catharsis and cognitive closure in the arc of the scientist. ?The story motif of the “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” comes to mind.)
And the hook of your story is the technology — not the profiling. The ability to have an omniscient view of recent events?completely overwhelms the importance of the role of the FBI character. ?Which is not to say the FBI character cannot be a key player , but the technology is the sizzle, the strongest selling point of the concept. It’s the McGuffin, the thing everyone in the story wants.
(Minor quibble: he’s lecturing FBI trainees not “students”. And if he’s lecturing, he’s still actively employed by the FBI. He’s just been pulled from field work. )
fwiw
See less