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  1. Posted: October 21, 2016In: Drama

    When a man discovers his girlfriend?s heinous secret, he?s forced to turn her in before she strikes again. He creates an elaborate scheme centered around a romantic dinner, but realizes that she?s always a step ahead of him.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 21, 2016 at 9:31 pm

    What Richiev said. ?The secret is not only the inciting incident but (perhaps) the story hook. ?It needs to be named.And why does he need to go through the bother of staging an elaborate dinner? ?Why doesn't he just ?turn her in, go to the police and tell them what he knows?

    What Richiev said. ?The secret is not only the inciting incident but (perhaps) the story hook. ?It needs to be named.

    And why does he need to go through the bother of staging an elaborate dinner? ?Why doesn’t he just ?turn her in, go to the police and tell them what he knows?

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  2. Posted: October 19, 2016In: Adventure

    When her pack is stolen, a spirited Corinthian girl must reclaim it from thieves and the important letter within which she promised to deliver to Rome. (Possible script title: ‘Phoebe’)

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 21, 2016 at 8:47 am

    Except the target audience of the epistle was the Christians (Jews & Gentiles) in Rome, not the Emperor. ?This points to a ?dramatic?issue.The long term stakes and consequences of the epistle ( its central role in formulating ?doctrine for the survival of the nascent Christian religion) is sometRead more

    Except the target audience of the epistle was the Christians (Jews & Gentiles) in Rome, not the Emperor. ?This points to a ?dramatic?issue.

    The long term stakes and consequences of the epistle ( its central role in formulating ?doctrine for the survival of the nascent Christian religion) is something ?the movie audience might appreciate. ??But within the time framework of the film, what are the immediate stakes for the early Christians in Rome? ?What’s the upside for them if the epistle is delivered, the downside if it isn’t?

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  3. Posted: October 20, 2016In: Examples

    Three cops, bitter rivals, fight each other and a corrupt system to unravel a conspiracy to take over organized crime in 1950’s L.A.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 21, 2016 at 12:45 am

    I agree with you, Nir Shelter, that "late night" can go. ?However, I prefer ?"fight each other and a corrupt system" ?because Bud White and Edmund Exley characters literally fight each other (twice). ? And I think that's an important part of the story hook. ?Cops are always fighting corruption in fiRead more

    I agree with you, Nir Shelter, that “late night” can go. ?However, I prefer ?”fight each other and a corrupt system” ?because Bud White and Edmund Exley characters literally fight each other (twice). ? And I think that’s an important part of the story hook. ?Cops are always fighting corruption in films (within the department and society at large), but how are they also fighting — literally — each other? ?So:

    After a bloody massacre, three feuding cops fight each other and a corrupt system to unravel a conspiracy to take over organized crime in 1950?s L.A.
    (26 words )

    And btw:? their feuding, their inability to even peacefully co-exist as rivals,? is their character flaw.? Only after they stop fighting each other and partner up to fight the bad guys can they defeat the conspiracy.

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