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A true-blue beat cop volunteers as Internal Affair?s snitch to root out an anonymous traitor when seized drugs surface in his cloistered community.
"Cloistered community" ?What does that refer to? ?Cops do tend to bond with their brethren-in-blue ?and live in tight-knit social groups -- but for darn sure they don't work in cloistered communities.And the theft of drugs being held in custody is a fairly common gimmick for kick starting a plot aboRead more
“Cloistered community” ?What does that refer to? ?Cops do tend to bond with their brethren-in-blue ?and live in tight-knit social groups — but for darn sure they don’t work in cloistered communities.
And the theft of drugs being held in custody is a fairly common gimmick for kick starting a plot about corrupt cops — from “Witness” (1985) ?to ?”American Gangster” (2007). ?I don’t see any fresh take on that plot ploy in this logline.
See lessWhen a groom-to-be discovers his identical twin has been replaced by an android, they must partner up to investigate his wedding party and find those responsible for the decoy.
It's a interesting hook, ?one of a pair of identical twins is swapped out with an android. ?And obviously, the organic bro would be upset. But there is just not enough apparent stakes in the logline. ?And the framework of an upcoming wedding - I ?just don't get a sense of enough intrinsic dramatic sRead more
It’s a interesting hook, ?one of a pair of identical twins is swapped out with an android. ?And obviously, the organic bro would be upset.
But there is just not enough apparent stakes in the logline. ?And the framework of an upcoming wedding – I ?just don’t get a sense of enough intrinsic dramatic suspense and tension.
I think the whole wedding party aspect needs to be replaced with something ?more compelling, more intriguing.
fwiw
See lessWhen an android bodyguard assassinates the President during a training simulation, a Systems Analyst believed responsible must abduct the android for protection while finding the culprit.
After a secret service android assassinates the President and its software engineer becomes the prime suspect,?engineer and android must evade capture and partner up to find the culprit who hacked the android's AI. (34 words)While ?biking through spectacular scenery yesterday, this premise kept flitRead more
After a secret service android assassinates the President and its software engineer becomes the prime suspect,?engineer and android must evade capture and partner up to find the culprit who hacked the android’s AI.
(34 words)
While ?biking through spectacular scenery yesterday, this premise kept flitting in and out of my mind. Why? ?Because it embedded not 1 but 2 hooks in my mind.?1] A secret service android ?assassinates the President. 2] An odd couple buddy film: engineer and android must partner up to solve the crime.
Notes:
“Secret service android” instead of ?”bodyguard” because that’s the correct terminology.
“Assassinates” because it’s stronger, implies more significant consequences, than merely “kills”.
“Software engineer” rather than “systems analyst”; I think it is?better fit.
[Takeaway: ?to sell the script and yourself as the person to write it and do re-writes and polishes, it’s imperative to get the terminology right, create the right 1st impression that you’ve done your homework, know your subject matter.]?
“Engineer and android must evade capture and ?partner up” ?– how they escape custody, evade capture are details for the script. ?IOW: the meaty details, the steak. What the logline needs to sell is the sizzle: android and human partner up — an odd couple relationship.
Anyway, the concept gets my thumbs up. ?Best wishes with the story.
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