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  1. Posted: August 4, 2016In: SciFi

    A struggling college student, plagued by his current state of being, discovers a device called the “God Helmet” and becomes the test subject for his Professor’s experiment.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 4, 2016 at 7:27 am

    Yeah, what's a "God Helmet" and what special powers does it give to the person wearing it? And what is the objective goal of the experiment? ?What outcome does the alienated/frustrated student seek in agreeing to the experiment?

    Yeah, what’s a “God Helmet” and what special powers does it give to the person wearing it?

    And what is the objective goal of the experiment? ?What outcome does the alienated/frustrated student seek in agreeing to the experiment?

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  2. Posted: August 3, 2016In: Drama

    A reluctant Witch rescues a repentant Witch hunter to save her family and investigate a conspiracy that could destroy Elizabethan England.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 3, 2016 at 9:43 pm

    As the others have said. ? It 's confusing to me as to what the setup is in the pilot. ?For example: ?"Repentant witch hunter" ?-- repentant ?for what? "To save her family" -- whose family, the witch's or the hunter's?And it's not clear to me what exactly is the plot dynamic that can be sustained foRead more

    As the others have said. ? It ‘s confusing to me as to what the setup is in the pilot. ?For example: ?”Repentant witch hunter” ?– repentant ?for what? “To save her family” — whose family, the witch’s or the hunter’s?

    And it’s not clear to me what exactly is the plot dynamic that can be sustained for the length of a series. ?What is the specific threat? ? An internal conspiracy to overthrow Queen Elizabeth that would plunge the country, once again, into civil war? ?An external conspiracy by Spain to not only topple the Queen but restore the primacy of Catholicism? ?Or…?

    I’m an aficionado of historical drama, but the reign of Elizabeth Regina has already done in film and as a mini-series. ?So what’s the hook, the novel plot line in this series?

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  3. Posted: August 21, 2015In: Examples

    In the near future when an upgraded police droid becomes able to think and feel, it must learn to survive in a violent world where everyone wants to exploit its humanoid consciousness.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 3, 2016 at 4:31 am

    Agree: "becomes sentient" ?is ?more concise.>>Does it matter that it?s the ?near? future? If it?s a police droid we know it?s in the future already.Good point. ?So:When a police droid is upgraded and becomes sentient, it must learn to survive in a violent world where everyone wants to exploitRead more

    Agree: “becomes sentient” ?is ?more concise.

    >>Does it matter that it?s the ?near? future? If it?s a police droid we know it?s in the future already.

    Good point. ?So:

    When a police droid is upgraded and becomes sentient, it must learn to survive in a violent world where everyone wants to exploit its humanoid consciousness.
    (26 words versus 32 in the 1st version)

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