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Wanting to go legit a young drug dealer must do one last run to rescue her sister being held hostage by her boss; knowing she be going to be killed.
I like Dkpough1's polish in that it inserts a specific antagonist into the plot. ?However, I prefer to leave the reason why he's retiring in the logline -- he wants to go legit-- as it implies more dramatic tension. ?Also I changed "dealer" to runner" because ?that's how his job is described. ?RunniRead more
I like Dkpough1’s polish in that it inserts a specific antagonist into the plot. ?However, I prefer to leave the reason why he’s retiring in the logline — he wants to go legit– as it implies more dramatic tension. ?Also I changed “dealer” to runner” because ?that’s how his job is described. ?Running and dealing are differing, specialized jobs within the trade. ?And I add the word “dangerous” to describe the job, again to imply more dramatic tension, more risk. ?So:
When a crime boss kidnaps her sister, a drug runner who wants to go legit must complete one last dangerous run to win her release.
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When a bitten-to-death passenger is found dead in his cabin, a dad with son-issues aspires to catch the killer and redeem himself to his son.
You raise good points, as usual, Dkpough 1. ?In response to>>>?But not both.? >>>Wouldn?t that be the real challenge? To be able to do both? To somehow be able to get her spouse to remain with her, and catch the killer?Because for the purpose of a logline and a plot, a protagonistRead more
You raise good points, as usual, Dkpough 1. ?In response to
>>>?But not both.?
>>>Wouldn?t that be the real challenge? To be able to do both? To somehow be able to get her spouse to remain with her, and catch the killer?
Because for the purpose of a logline and a plot, a protagonist should only have 1 objective goal. ? The Biblical adage that “no man can serve two masters” is as true for reel life as it is for real life in the sense that no protagonist can serve 2 objective goals. ?He can try. ?But one must inevitably taken precedence; one must inevitably be sacrificed for the sake of the other. It’s S.O.P. in drama.
True dilemmas are a good thing in drama, a way par excellence to infuse a story with complications and rising tension.
Dilemmas aside, there’s the matter of the initial objective goal –before the inciting incident– and the new objective goal created by the inciting incident.
Case in point: ?”Die Hard”
The movie opens with NYPD officer John McClane flying to LA to visit his kids and his wife from whom he is estranged. ?His initial objective goal is to repair their broken marriage.
And then the terrorists attack– the inciting incident.
As a result of that inciting incident, what becomes his objective goal? ?To repair his marriage by by impressing his wife with how he single-handedly outwits and defeats the terrorists?
No. ?His objective goal becomes to outwit and defeat the terrorists. ?That’s how the plot is framed.
Yes, his wife is among those in jeopardy. ?But even if she weren’t, even if there was no one else in the building but himself and the bad guys, John McClane would take on the terrorists. ?Why? ?Because he’s a stand up guy, a good cop. ?Because it’s his job, his calling.
And in the process of defeating the terrorists, he wins her back — that’s his Christmas bonus, the unintended consequence of his achieving his objective goal.
There, I submit for your consideration, is the template for the premise of this logline.
fwiw
See lessWhen a bitten-to-death passenger is found dead in his cabin, a dad with son-issues aspires to catch the killer and redeem himself to his son.
Men go for action; women for relationship. I was painting with a broad stroke to be deliberately provocative. ? But I stand by my statement that if the premise of the story is about a ?detective's struggle to balance his personal and professional life, it might be more interesting to explore with aRead more
Men go for action; women for relationship.
I was painting with a broad stroke to be deliberately provocative. ? But I stand by my statement that if the premise of the story is about a ?detective’s struggle to balance his personal and professional life, it might be more interesting to explore with a female protagonist.
Even more interesting might be a female detective on a vacation cruise taking the cruise with her husband who intends to file for a divorce because her detective work consumes so much of her time. ?This is the last chance to save their marriage.
And then the corpse appears which throws her onto the horns of a dramatic dilemma: she can solve the murder or she can save her marriage. ?But not both.
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