1. Posted: July 8, 2016In:

    An arrogant, popular high school homophobe, plagued by a series of bizarre electrical mishaps, struggles to overcome what he believes is a curse and, after he discovers a conspiracy that threatens their town, must work with gay and lesbian teen witches who despise him. [One-hour primetime series, Veronica Mars meets Charmed]

    dpg Singularity

    This version of the logline offers a potentially interesting ?alliance of odd and incompatible characters. ?However, as Dkpough noted, the characters join forces for no specified purpose -- there is no shared objective goal. ?The only stated struggle is to overcome what he believes to be a curse. ?WRead more

    This version of the logline offers a potentially interesting ?alliance of odd and incompatible characters. ?However, as Dkpough noted, the characters join forces for no specified purpose — there is no shared objective goal. ?The only stated struggle is to overcome what he believes to be a curse. ?

    What must he do about the conspiracy?

    Also, I’m guessing that ?”a series of?series of bizarre electrical mishaps” has something to do with his superpowers. ?That?leaves me confused rather than curious as to what those are. ?But I’ve flogged that horse before. ?’Nuf said.

    ?

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: July 8, 2016In:

    When a bitten-to-death passenger is found dead in his cabin, a dad with son-issues aspires to catch the killer and redeem himself to his son.

    dpg Singularity

    Is there a particular dramatic reason why the story seems to have co-protagonists? Are they a mixed couple--one female, one male? And if not, could they be?(And going forward please keep all the discussion and revisions in one thread.)

    Is there a particular dramatic reason why the story seems to have co-protagonists?
    Are they a mixed couple–one female, one male?
    And if not, could they be?

    (And going forward please keep all the discussion and revisions in one thread.)

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: July 5, 2016In:

    An arrogant, popular high school bully discovers ? but can?t control ? strengthening-yet-unpredictable powers and is branded an outcast which compels him to work with a coven of gay and lesbian teen witches to uncover a conspiracy that threatens their town.

    dpg Singularity

    I agree that even though the concept is for a series, the logline should describe a plot for the pilot episode. You obviously disagree about my suggestion that the logline ?would be more effective with a clear description of the superpowers. ?Good luck, if that's the way you want to do it. ?(IMHO ,Read more

    I agree that even though the concept is for a series, the logline should describe a plot for the pilot episode.

    You obviously disagree about my suggestion that the logline ?would be more effective with a clear description of the superpowers. ?Good luck, if that’s the way you want to do it. ?(IMHO , you’ll need it.)

    See less
    • 0