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  1. Posted: July 7, 2016In: Horror

    A bookstore owner must re-live his father’s murder, stay alive, and protect his friends when the murderer escapes from an asylum transfer.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 8, 2016 at 3:26 am

    >> must re-live his father's murder. Loglines should focus on the dramatic problem to be solved NOW, in the present tense. ?The dramatic problem NOW is to apprehend and/or kill the murderer. "Re-living the murder" -- whatever that means -- is old business ?Maybe it's a complicating factor in tRead more

    >> must re-live his father’s murder.

    Loglines should focus on the dramatic problem to be solved NOW, in the present tense. ?The dramatic problem NOW is to apprehend and/or kill the murderer. “Re-living the murder” — whatever that means — is old business ?Maybe it’s a complicating factor in the story proper but it is extraneous for the purpose of a logline.

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  2. Posted: July 7, 2016In: Family

    When his grades slip too much for regular coursework to fix, an impulsive prankster must complete community service without incident at a strict military school to graduate junior high with his best friends.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 8, 2016 at 3:10 am

    Agree that the premise is not credible. ?If no crime has been committed, there is no legal basis to require community service. ?And it's not a crime to get poor grades. ?Nor is it a crime to be an impulsive prankster unless that entails criminal behavior. And the logline says nothing about criminalRead more

    Agree that the premise is not credible. ?If no crime has been committed, there is no legal basis to require community service. ?And it’s not a crime to get poor grades. ?Nor is it a crime to be an impulsive prankster unless that entails criminal behavior. And the logline says nothing about criminal behavior.

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  3. Posted: July 6, 2016In: Comedy

    An amateur actress at a haunted house attraction struggles with her decision to stay at the job she loves while trying to get over a guy who isn’t easy to get over..

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 7, 2016 at 10:31 pm

    >>>struggles with her decision to stay at the jobTo reiterate, a logline is a brief summary of a plot. ?And plots are not about deciding to decide; plots are about what characters do. ?Specifically, a logline describes the action that follows a decision the protagonist makes by the end of tRead more

    >>>struggles with her decision to stay at the job

    To reiterate, a logline is a brief summary of a plot. ?And plots are not about deciding to decide; plots are about what characters do. ?Specifically, a logline describes the action that follows a decision the protagonist makes by the end of the Act 1.

    Example:
    In a dystopian future, a girl volunteers to take her sister’s place in the annual ?”reaping” of youths by a dictatorship for a gladiatorial fight to the death.
    (The Hunger Games)

    “The Hunger Games” is not about Katniss “struggling with her decision”. ?It’s about the struggle after she makes her decision.

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