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  1. Posted: June 22, 2016In: Drama

    In the midst of her marriage breaking down, an alcoholic family councilor must keep the balance between her kids and her job despite her emotional upheaval.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 22, 2016 at 11:28 pm

    The logline sets up a complicated (that's good!) initial 1st Act situation.But what "keep her balance" means for the 2nd Act needs to be more clearly defined; the phrase entails a wide range of character choices. ?Loglines are about one specific choice a protagonist takes among many that may be avaiRead more

    The logline sets up a complicated (that’s good!) initial 1st Act situation.

    But what “keep her balance” means for the 2nd Act needs to be more clearly defined; the phrase entails a wide range of character choices. ?Loglines are about one specific choice a protagonist takes among many that may be available and the action that follows as a consequence.

    Exactly what is the choice she makes? ?What become her objective goal, her game plan to “keep her balance”?

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  2. Posted: June 21, 2016In: Drama

    A post apocalyptic space ship carrying the rich and famous is overthrown by the slaves that run it, as they discover their manual skills are the new worlds currency, deeming fame and fortunes irrelevant.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 22, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    Fame and fortune has always been built on the sweat equity of manual labor. ?See Karl Marx and his theory of surplus value of labor. So much for economic theory. ?The practical problem with this logline is that it sets up a situation, but does not lay out a plot. ? As a result of discovering that thRead more

    Fame and fortune has always been built on the sweat equity of manual labor. ?See Karl Marx and his theory of surplus value of labor.

    So much for economic theory. ?The practical problem with this logline is that it sets up a situation, but does not lay out a plot. ? As a result of discovering that the top %1 are dependent on their skill and labor, what do the other 99% do about it? ?Who among the exploited masses emerges as the protagonist? ?After overthrowing the ruling elite, what becomes his objective goal?

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  3. Posted: June 21, 2016In: Drama

    A single mom with 4 kids by different fathers tangle in an endless typical chore must choose between her kids and her handyman lover

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 22, 2016 at 7:09 am

    The ?seems to have a serious problem with relationships. ? As FFF said, "making a choice" is ?one scene, the climax of the story. Meanwhile, what's the story that builds to the scene? ?What is the plot that forces her to [finally] choose between her 4 kids and a 5th lover? ?Why does she have to makeRead more

    The ?seems to have a serious problem with relationships. ? As FFF said, “making a choice” is ?one scene, the climax of the story.

    Meanwhile, what’s the story that builds to the scene? ?What is the plot that forces her to [finally] choose between her 4 kids and a 5th lover? ?Why does she have to make a choice NOW? ?Didn’t she have to make a choice between her kids and all her other lovers? ?What’s different about this situation?

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