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When his girl disappears, a young man finds himself interfering in the last heist of an ageing crook who will stop at nothing to capture the girl he desperately needs to finish the job.
Has the girl disappeared because the ageing crook kidnapped her? ?Or are both of them looking for the girl?And isn't his objective goal to rescue the girl? ? Isn't interfering in the heist ?just a means to his objective goal, not the objective goal?And what's at stake? What does he (and the girl) stRead more
Has the girl disappeared because the ageing crook kidnapped her? ?Or are both of them looking for the girl?
And isn’t his objective goal to rescue the girl? ? Isn’t interfering in the heist ?just a means to his objective goal, not the objective goal?
And what’s at stake? What does he (and the girl) stand to lose if he fails and/or the crook succeeds? ?I mean, after the job is done, wouldn’t she be free to go back to him, resume their relationship?
See lessA mild mannered accountant accidentally kills a mobster in a hit and run accident and must escape the mob?s revenge and another mob?s quest to silence him as he hightails it with the dead mobster?s wayward wife and two bratty kids to safety in the Arizona desert.
Great advice: ?the "one-breath rule".As FFF said, the logline ?juggles too many balls, too many jokes. ?A good logline for a comedy is about one Big Joke that the rest of the story builds on with riffs and mixes to a climactic button scene.Like "Tootsie" where the Big Joke is ?an?unsuccessful actorRead more
Great advice: ?the “one-breath rule”.
As FFF said, the logline ?juggles too many balls, too many jokes. ?A good logline for a comedy is about one Big Joke that the rest of the story builds on with riffs and mixes to a climactic button scene.
Like “Tootsie” where the Big Joke is ?an?unsuccessful actor disguises himself as a woman to ?get a role in a soap opera. Everything else, all the complications, mishaps, all the comedy build on that ?Big Joke.
What’s the one Big Joke in this premise on which the rest of the story builds?
See lessA young transgender woman must reconcile with her estranged, conservative, mother in order to carry on her sex reassignment surgery in order to be the woman she was meant to be.
As the others have said. ?Why must the transgender candidate reconcile with her mother before the 'final cut'? ?There needs to be a credible reason.This seems to be similar to?"Transamerica" (2005). ?In that film, the protagonist, born male, needs his/her therapists's sign off before the 'final cut'Read more
As the others have said. ?Why must the transgender candidate reconcile with her mother before the ‘final cut’? ?There needs to be a credible reason.
This seems to be similar to?”Transamerica” (2005). ?In that film, the protagonist, born male, needs his/her therapists’s sign off before the ‘final cut’, the ?operation that will finally, and irrevocably, complete his/her sexual reassignment. ?The therapist refuses to give that permission until (s)he reconciles with a 17-year old son, the product of a youthful one night stand whom (s)he just discovered exists. He just got busted in New York City for hustling. ? It’s a poignant movie underscored by dark humor.
One?challenge for this story is to differentiate itself?from “Transamerica”. ?Well, the estranged relative is a mother. ?But, again, why MUST there be an attempt to reconcile with her? ? Is it because she’s underage, needs her mother’s consent? ?If so, then stipulate her age in the logline. ?(And if she needs her mother’s consent, what about her father’s?)
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