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  1. Posted: June 10, 2016In: Thriller

    After a vampire-supremacist wages a war to enslave humanity, his lieutenant, determined to stop him, partners with a celebrated vampire baroness to sabotage his faction through assassination, terrorism, and subterfuge.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 11, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    Sergeantwriter:That you have the 2 allies struggling for the same goal ?(vanquish the vampire) for different motivations is great; it creates polarization in their relationship,?conflict, tension. ?And in drama that's a good thing. ? However, I would appreciate a clarification on this point:>>Read more

    Sergeantwriter:

    That you have the 2 allies struggling for the same goal ?(vanquish the vampire) for different motivations is great; it creates polarization in their relationship,?conflict, tension. ?And in drama that’s a good thing. ? However, I would appreciate a clarification on this point:

    >>thematically (or at least with the theme that emerged), it was relevant, I think. they represent two sides of revolution,

    Which is? ?What’s your theme? ?What’s the dialectical argument in their alliance?

    >>she is ultimately the one that succeeds.

    So they can’t both win the argument, right? ? In the post-war world, they would become foes again? ?Just as in World War II, ?the US and Great Britain formed an alliance with their ?ideological foe, the USSR, to defeat the common enemy, ?the Axis, only to become foes again after that mission was accomplished.

    So you’re writing for a denouement ?that is win-win (they win the war and she wins the thematic argument) as opposed to win-lose (they win the war but she loses the thematic argument).

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  2. Posted: June 10, 2016In: Action

    In a dust chocked world where the rich live in air ships and the poor in muck a dethroned princess and desperate criminal must join forces to stop a megalomaniac from seizing absolute control.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 11, 2016 at 8:12 am

    Hate to choke on a detail but doesn't muck connotes mud, slime -- subtances that are wet? ?So how is all this muck possible in ?a dust-choked (ergo dry, arid) world?

    Hate to choke on a detail but doesn’t muck connotes mud, slime — subtances that are wet? ?So how is all this muck possible in ?a dust-choked (ergo dry, arid) world?

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  3. Posted: June 10, 2016In: Thriller

    After a vampire-supremacist wages a war to enslave humanity, his lieutenant, determined to stop him, partners with a celebrated vampire baroness to sabotage his faction through assassination, terrorism, and subterfuge.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 11, 2016 at 8:07 am

    Who is the protagonist, the lieutenant or the baroness??If you intend to have dual protagonist in the logline (and script), there should be good dramatic reason and I don't see it in this case. ?Why? ?Because such a potent antagonist needs to be counterbalanced with equally potent protagonist.So itRead more

    Who is the protagonist, the lieutenant or the baroness??

    If you intend to have dual protagonist in the logline (and script), there should be good dramatic reason and I don’t see it in this case. ?Why? ?Because such a potent antagonist needs to be counterbalanced with equally potent protagonist.

    So it seems to me that either the lieutenant or the baroness should be the protagonist, the other an ally. ?(And allies don’t usually get mentioned in a logline.)

    fwiw

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