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A man seeking love falls for a lady he will marry. When he walks in on his best friend sleeping with her, he then must make a choice to either walk away or get his revenge.
This log line contains extra and unnecessary information. ?The sentence "A man seeking love falls for a lady he will marry." can be replaced by the words 'An engaged man." Simplified "An engaged man discovers his fiancee sleeping with his best friend. " ?Then you set up the choice he has to make aboRead more
This log line contains extra and unnecessary information. ?The sentence “A man seeking love falls for a lady he will marry.” can be replaced by the words ‘An engaged man.”
Simplified “An engaged man discovers his fiancee sleeping with his best friend. ” ?Then you set up the choice he has to make about letting them go or trying to get some kind of revenge on them both.
Since the whole film is him deciding to do something bad to them, it would be good if we had some idea of what that specifically was. ?Sleeping with his best friends girl? ?His Fiancee’s sister?
See lessStranded in enemy space, when a tyrannical federation’s mothership seizes his father’s company car, a fickle teen must retrieve it and return home on Earth before his father starts his new job.
I found this confusing. ?Here's why. ?He's stranded in space when the aliens take the car. ?Got it. ?But then he has to retrieve it? ?Isn't he already with it? ?If he's not with the car, is this movie about getting the car back? ?Or if he is with the car, is this movie about escaping with the car? ?Read more
I found this confusing. ?Here’s why. ?He’s stranded in space when the aliens take the car. ?Got it. ?But then he has to retrieve it? ?Isn’t he already with it? ?If he’s not with the car, is this movie about getting the car back? ?Or if he is with the car, is this movie about escaping with the car? ?One’s a journey, the others an escape.
I’m guessing the hero is out joyriding in his Daddy’s car, get’s abducted, and then has to escape the aliens with the car in tact. ?Am I wrong?
Also you’ve listed this as an adventure. ?This seems like a comedy.
See lessA grieving 12 year old boy must navigate between his physical and fantasy worlds, battling fears and doubts to uncover the origins of a mysterious dagger. This journey will test the truths of who he is and who he is to become.
The hero's journey and main conflict aren't clear to me. ?Who specifically is he fighting? Why does he need to know the truth about the dagger? ?What happens if he doesn't learn that truth? You've got a journey story. ?You've got a world to set it in. ?You've even got a McGuffin for the hero to pursRead more
The hero’s journey and main conflict aren’t clear to me. ?Who specifically is he fighting? Why does he need to know the truth about the dagger? ?What happens if he doesn’t learn that truth?
You’ve got a journey story. ?You’ve got a world to set it in. ?You’ve even got a McGuffin for the hero to pursue. ?What’s missing is the why.
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