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When an illegal immigrant unknowingly films the murder of the star witness in a high profile drug case, he struggles to survive the drug ring who will do anything to keep him silent while under the care of a racist detective.
What's the significance of the protag being an illegal immigrant? At the moment this characteristic is having no effect on the story as he's 'under the care of a racist detective". If he's illegal then he would fear going to the police, wouldn't he? That's an important story aspect to consider becauRead more
What’s the significance of the protag being an illegal immigrant? At the moment this characteristic is having no effect on the story as he’s ‘under the care of a racist detective”. If he’s illegal then he would fear going to the police, wouldn’t he? That’s an important story aspect to consider because it will create good conflict.
See lessWhen a stern principal asks a new teacher to look over a specific child the new teacher finds herself in the middle of a family breakdown.
Being specific in a logline is the name of the game. Therefore, what does 'look over' actually mean? What's the teacher's goal? To protect the child from a violent father and/or mother? We need to know what it is the teacher must achieve by the end of the story. Also, what's at stake for the teacherRead more
Being specific in a logline is the name of the game. Therefore, what does ‘look over’ actually mean?
What’s the teacher’s goal? To protect the child from a violent father and/or mother? We need to know what it is the teacher must achieve by the end of the story.
Also, what’s at stake for the teacher? What could she lose? I don’t see anything. I am a teacher and if I identify an at-risk student due to family issues, I simply have to report it to the relevant staff within the school and from there I’m no longer permitted to get involved because a) it may affect my impartiality towards all students b) I, like many regular teachers, simply don’t have the specialist training required to handle such situations.
Because of this, you need to somehow make it personal for the teacher, otherwise there’s no way she would get involved. Just being instructed by your principle is not enough motivation.
Hopefully these are helpful pointers to guide your thoughts 😉
See lessRE WRITE Prisoners escaping a galactic penal colonel make an emergency landing only to find themselves trapped,having to outwit a psychopathic,shape shifting android intent on re-enacting the twisted deaths from old horror movies.
"a psychopathic,shape shifting android intent on re-enacting the twisted deaths from old horror movies" screams 'seen it all before' to me (Terminator 2 anyone?), unless you're bringing something new to the table and it's not just a pastiche of what's gone before. If you are bringing something new tRead more
“a psychopathic,shape shifting android intent on re-enacting the twisted deaths from old horror movies” screams ‘seen it all before’ to me (Terminator 2 anyone?), unless you’re bringing something new to the table and it’s not just a pastiche of what’s gone before. If you are bringing something new then you should try to use it as a hook in your logline.
You must distil your idea down to a single character (as Richiev mentioned above) with a flaw who desperately needs to achieve a specific goal, and then that should become your logline. Being specific in this way gives the reader a crystal clear understanding of your story and its marketability.
Best of luck.
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