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When a hyper-sexualised girl band becomes trapped by a psychopathic religious woman, a pop singer must kill her band and manipulate her captor to escape.
"When a hyper-sexualised girl band becomes trapped by a psychopathic religious woman, a pop singer must kill her band and manipulate her captor to escape."Hey hannikkis,Your MC's main course of action -?must kill her band?, is a bit unnecessary unless you meant to stress a scenario like Saw whereinRead more
“When a hyper-sexualised girl band becomes trapped by a psychopathic religious woman, a pop singer must kill her band and manipulate her captor to escape.”
Hey hannikkis,
Your MC’s main course of action -?must kill her band?, is a bit unnecessary unless you meant to stress a scenario like Saw wherein trapped victims must harm themselves or others to live; if so, you may want to make that clear. Otherwise, I can see the MC and her band devise an undesirable plot to harm?the antagonist as the more likeliest approach.
For the most part though, I think the logline ?is cool. Just consider a better option for your MC when it comes to her band, unless there’s a Saw-like element involved.
See lessOskar, an overlooked and bullied boy, finds love and revenge through Eli, a beautiful but peculiar girl.
"Oskar, an overlooked and bullied boy, finds love and revenge through Eli, a beautiful but peculiar girl." Hi wedoitlive, Your MC's main course of action should be clear; what exactly does he do by finding love and revenge through this peculiar girl? And an inciting incident appears to be missing. SRead more
“Oskar, an overlooked and bullied boy, finds love and revenge through Eli, a beautiful but peculiar girl.”
Hi wedoitlive,
Your MC’s main course of action should be clear; what exactly does he do by finding love and revenge through this peculiar girl?
And an inciting incident appears to be missing. So, he’s “bullied”; there must be a key setup you might’ve left out wherein some bully goes way too far and the MC decides enough is enough and takes action.
See lessA revolutionary Arabian prince rises in revolt to free his people from the Barbarians after he was given a second chance to live again.
"A fearless prince, Ara the son of Arab King rises in revolt against the Barbarians to free his Arabian Peninsula, but first he must awaken the Arabian dream." Hey haidar83, An inciting incident appears to be missing. Your MC's goal to?free his Arabian Peninsula can fix that: so,?when the BarbariansRead more
“A fearless prince, Ara the son of Arab King rises in revolt against the Barbarians to free his Arabian Peninsula, but first he must awaken the Arabian dream.”
Hey haidar83,
An inciting incident appears to be missing. Your MC’s goal to?free his Arabian Peninsula can fix that: so,?when the Barbarians enslaves his people…
From there, consider putting your MC’s main course of action (which you also have) before his goal.
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