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A cyber security analyst must steal the government’s undercover handler list when a hacker threatens to remotely crash his wife’s plane.
"A cyber security analyst for the government must complete a series of treasonable tasks while secretly attempting to find the hacker threatening to collide his wife?s plane with another if he fails." Hey Knightrider, You could shorten "...must complete a series of treasonable tasks" and just say 'mRead more
“A cyber security analyst for the government must complete a series of treasonable tasks while secretly attempting to find the hacker threatening to collide his wife?s plane with another if he fails.”
Hey Knightrider,
You could shorten “…must complete a series of treasonable tasks” and just say ‘must commit treason to…’. Although shorter and straight to the point, it may come off as vague to other readers and understandably so. But, it can serve as a stepping stone to a more specific action of treason your MC must take to find this hacker.
See lessAfter becoming immune to their technology that predicts and alters our choices, a young woman must stop a secret society’s twisted plan for humanity’s future.
Hey Knightrider, You have it all: an MC, the inciting incident, what she must do, and an antagonist. If you write another version, consider playing around with other verb/noun choices that ooze dramatic impact; I think the part ...that predicts and alters our choices for their own gain. could benefiRead more
Hey Knightrider,
You have it all: an MC, the inciting incident, what she must do, and an antagonist. If you write another version, consider playing around with other verb/noun choices that ooze dramatic impact; I think the part …that predicts and alters our choices for their own gain. could benefit from this.
See lessGault, an ageing Ulster policeman, is wrongly accused of the death of a colleague. The British State conspires against him to protect an agent. The love of his life saves him.
Hey pestie7, You may want to omit?The love of his life saves him, because it appears to be a third act event. Just very briefly (and clearly) summarize the inciting incident and what exactly the MC must do about it. And you do have an inciting incident -?or two:?Gault, an ageing Ulster policeman, isRead more
Hey pestie7,
You may want to omit?The love of his life saves him, because it appears to be a third act event. Just very briefly (and clearly) summarize the inciting incident and what exactly the MC must do about it.
And you do have an inciting incident -?or two:?Gault, an ageing Ulster policeman, is wrongly accused of the death of a colleague. and The British State conspires against him to protect an agent.?I believe you intend the former to be the inciting incident, because we wouldn’t even know who?him?is if the second sentence was the inciting incident. Here’s a little something that may help clarify which is which though:?When?an ageing Ulster policeman is wrongly accused of the death of a colleague by the British State…what must he do?
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