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UPDATED: AN AGORAPHOBIC WRITER WHO WAS FAMOUSLY ABDUCTED WITH HER BEST FRIEND WHEN SHE WAS 13 YEARS OLD, MUST OVERCOME HER FEARS, AND BATTLE A MENACING ENTITY FROM HER CHILDHOOD. IF SHE SURVIVES, SHE CAN FINALLY WRITE THE STORY EVERYONE WANTS TO READ. THE TRUTH.
Don't use the log to list what's happening in the story, use it to tell us what she's up against, how long it can last and what price she'll pay if she fails.
Don’t use the log to list what’s happening in the story, use it to tell us what she’s up against, how long it can last and what price she’ll pay if she fails.
See lessAn agoraphobic writer must revisit her dark past, and battle a menacing presence, in order to survive the night, and reach the most important deadline of her life.
Sadie, You have some irony in place already to build onto. I suggest you visit something unique about this menacing presence. Something that'll give that horror hook to your pitch. Not sure if revisiting her dark past is worth mentioning unless you include some element about it that is relevant to dRead more
Sadie,
You have some irony in place already to build onto. I suggest you visit something unique about this menacing presence. Something that’ll give that horror hook to your pitch. Not sure if revisiting her dark past is worth mentioning unless you include some element about it that is relevant to defeating the presence.
May want to also include what the deadline is.
See lessWhen a mission goes wrong a star ship crew are stranded in the distant future where artificial intelligence is consuming the galaxy. Lost in this chaotic realm the world weary captain and his inexperienced crew must form allegiances and negotiate deals with other species which will at times severely test their ethics and values.
Chris, the first obvious thing I recommend you mention is the fight to return home. That has to be the ultimate goal for the ship, no? Since you are giving them side tasks to complete, this reads more like a teleplay and not a feature. Otherwise, the antagonistic force of the AI sounds interesting.
Chris, the first obvious thing I recommend you mention is the fight to return home. That has to be the ultimate goal for the ship, no? Since you are giving them side tasks to complete, this reads more like a teleplay and not a feature.
Otherwise, the antagonistic force of the AI sounds interesting.
See less