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Two chief divers are called forth to salvage the sunken ships at Pearl Harbor. honor their fallen comrades, and revitalize the fleet to avenge their dead shipmates.
Gene, Here's the problem I still see with your story. How does diving to ship wrecks in shallow water make for an important part of the war effort? Where does this story get its drive to conclusion? Where is the risk and what will happen if they don't succeed? Where does the vengeance factor in?
Gene,
Here’s the problem I still see with your story. How does diving to ship wrecks in shallow water make for an important part of the war effort? Where does this story get its drive to conclusion? Where is the risk and what will happen if they don’t succeed? Where does the vengeance factor in?
See lessRework: When a witness in custody and two cops are killed, the Homicide Detective must solve a piracy case to catch the killer and the mastermind. Thriller? Crime? Drama? Sci-Fi? Not sure…
We can fundamentally polish this... After two cops and their witness are assassinated, a detective's investigation leads him into an undercover ring of piracy controlled by a ruthless murderer. But we still need to spice up the detective, this piracy operation and even the murderer somehow, or elseRead more
We can fundamentally polish this…
After two cops and their witness are assassinated, a detective’s investigation leads him into an undercover ring of piracy controlled by a ruthless murderer.
But we still need to spice up the detective, this piracy operation and even the murderer somehow, or else it risks sounding ordinary.
See lessDue to imminent war conflict between magisterial government and local guerilla party, local man joins rebels on life-risking mission for exchange of safe passage for him and his pregnant wife out of the quarantined town.
AS DK and dpg brilliantly ask and suggest. Good advice. Safe passage of him and the prego wife are paramount. Bring these to the forefront. They are what make his journey dangerous and hold plenty of stakes.
AS DK and dpg brilliantly ask and suggest. Good advice.
Safe passage of him and the prego wife are paramount. Bring these to the forefront. They are what make his journey dangerous and hold plenty of stakes.
See less