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  1. Posted: April 23, 2017In: Examples

    When a spaceship transporting colonists on a 90 year journey to a distant planet malfunctions causing a passenger to awaken from hibernation early, he must find a way to resume hibernation or die of old age.

    Best Answer
    Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on April 24, 2017 at 11:38 am

    Haven't seen it yet. Sounds overly small.

    Haven’t seen it yet. Sounds overly small.

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  2. Posted: April 24, 2017In: Drama

    An Iraqi war vet, who discovers he was not born American, is caught by ICE. They promise him citizenship if he helps bring down a syndicate of birth certificate forgers. . But they renege and deport him to Guatemala, where gangs chase him on a harrowing journey back to the US to reunite with his family.

    Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on April 24, 2017 at 11:35 am

    Tgs, this is not a logline (hook) but rather a plot summary. While you definitely pack a lot of unique ?issues in a small paragraph, you are basically mentioning a static character who has a bunch of things happening to him. He is not coming off as active. This is a problem.

    Tgs, this is not a logline (hook) but rather a plot summary. While you definitely pack a lot of unique ?issues in a small paragraph, you are basically mentioning a static character who has a bunch of things happening to him. He is not coming off as active. This is a problem.

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  3. Posted: April 23, 2017In: Comedy

    a loser terrorist wants to go to heaven tries to find the bomb he lost to explode it.

    Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on April 23, 2017 at 10:49 pm

    As richiev says. I don't even know where to start with this. Is this a bad guy glorification story?

    As richiev says. I don’t even know where to start with this. Is this a bad guy glorification story?

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