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pls comment on it
You should also mention the word "ransom" in Craigs version, which sounds good.
You should also mention the word “ransom” in Craigs version, which sounds good.
See lessA Rescue Story
I suggest you change cowardly to something more complimentary. Ordinary works.
I suggest you change cowardly to something more complimentary. Ordinary works.
See lessAfter years of isolation, an egotistic ex-cop makes his nostalgic return to re-unite with his daughter but not until he goes to war with a mob of ex-convicts.
Jtaylor, I think you can adjust this more towards the task by eliminating the beginning. "After years of isolation" raises a question, not explaining anything. He is arriving to his daughter and is drawn into a war with criminals, right? I wouldn't think he just walks straight into them, so what's hRead more
Jtaylor,
I think you can adjust this more towards the task by eliminating the beginning. “After years of isolation” raises a question, not explaining anything. He is arriving to his daughter and is drawn into a war with criminals, right? I wouldn’t think he just walks straight into them, so what’s happening exactly?? So is this because the daughter is somehow involved with them?
The fact that he’s an ex-cop doesn’t really help his qualifications to do battle, only takes away from them. Is there something more to mention for the hook?
An egotistic cop reunites with his long-lost daughter only to find she needs his help to escape the clutches of a mob of ex-convicts.
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