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A bitter old man plays an advanced virtual reality game and conquers his fear of technology.
A bitter old man is not a character we want to live as when we watch a show. Now, if your character changes the bitter old man so that he realizes life is worth more than bitterness, then ya, we want to get behind that, otherwise, how about the old man just stop being bitter on his own?SO, I would tRead more
A bitter old man is not a character we want to live as when we watch a show. Now, if your character changes the bitter old man so that he realizes life is worth more than bitterness, then ya, we want to get behind that, otherwise, how about the old man just stop being bitter on his own?
SO, I would think of another reason to describe your MC other than his bitterness.
Playing a video game is not a major hurdle in a person’s life, despite a generation that isn’t keen on it. Where is the rest of the story?
See lessA workaholic businesswoman changes lifestyle after her husband dies but when she suspects he faked his death she has to find him before her company does.
Agreed with savinh0, This sounds interesting up until the company part. She should need to find him quick to learn what the hell this is all about for herself, not in a race with a company. Leave that part out. Simply state that she needs to find him or "she goes back to drinking until she finds herRead more
Agreed with savinh0,
This sounds interesting up until the company part. She should need to find him quick to learn what the hell this is all about for herself, not in a race with a company. Leave that part out. Simply state that she needs to find him or “she goes back to drinking until she finds her,” or something to that effect.
The company is just a nothing unless you take more space to explain what the hell that’s all about, and you don’t have the real estate in the logline to do that. If they have a reason to be in the story, then fine, it should be in the the story.
See lessA smart sophisticated business woman comes across a document that ends up pushing her to a limit beyond her control.
Yeah, good advice, bivric. This won't get a pass by the cliche police for sure.
Yeah, good advice, bivric. This won’t get a pass by the cliche police for sure.
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