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LogLine
Djhasms, See the above response in your secondary post.
Djhasms,
See the above response in your secondary post.
See lessA rapidly spreading sickness causes a suicidal teenager to put aside her intentions to save her loved ones.
Djhasma, Describe the sickness somehow. Is it unknown? Is it manmade? Is it natural? You expect your audience to root for a suicidal teenager? I'll pass on that. Does the teenager attempt to commit suicide each act, but somehow fail? You can make your MC struggle to want to live for some reason, butRead more
Djhasma,
Describe the sickness somehow. Is it unknown? Is it manmade? Is it natural?
You expect your audience to root for a suicidal teenager? I’ll pass on that. Does the teenager attempt to commit suicide each act, but somehow fail? You can make your MC struggle to want to live for some reason, but it better be a good one, and it better be something she can recover from.
With what you got so far, I’m more interested in the sickness than your MC. That ain’t a good thing.
Save her loved ones? How? Why would someone hellbent on taking her own life, care about other lives enough to save them?
Focus on the recovering aspect of your MC and give us a little more about the goals/stakes/urgency of your story.
See lessI have a simple question about one script I’m currently working on: it has 10 short stories all based in Greece in different cities and areas. Maybe you know the movies “New York, I love you” and “Paris, je t’aime”. Basically, it is such a script, but located in Greece. Do you think this type of script is marketable in any way? And should I write one logline for the whole script or 10 different ones for each story? Thank you for your help in advance! Savas
The more time I spend on this site and a few helpful others, the more I've come to realize that the plight of your characters (1-5 max, maybe less) is what really makes an audience relate to your story. Therefore, your logline should setup what ME (the audience member watching your movie) shall expeRead more
The more time I spend on this site and a few helpful others, the more I’ve come to realize that the plight of your characters (1-5 max, maybe less) is what really makes an audience relate to your story.
Therefore, your logline should setup what ME (the audience member watching your movie) shall experience when I enter your story as one of your characters. Humans want to see how other humans handle shit and then imagine how they might react in similar situations.
What you have here:
After the humongous planet destroying meteor vanishes from the sky right before impacting Earth, a troubled priest must help his congregation recover while dealing with the fact, at the moment the destruction of the earth was eminent he denied God.
establishes an idea, but not so much the task at hand. ?So, right up to a troubled priest is good, but now your main character’s obstacle needs to clearly shine through right up until the 3rd act resolve. Leaving that out will hook us into seeing the thing.
So, what is the big stake and goal for this priest. It should be to reaffirm his congregation’s fate in God, no? Recovering is not enough. Given time, most people usually do recover from things. What must he accomplish before the curtain drops?
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