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Sophie Lamport, a headstrong, brilliant engineer, accepts her dream job developing a new form of energy storage on an isolated wind farm in Northern Ontario. But on the night of a ferocious windstorm, Sophie encounters a sinister power which changes the course of her research and mental state, forever.
Okay this is great advice. New log line: "During a ferocious storm on an isolated wind farm in Northern Ontario, a headstrong engineer encounters an ominous force changing the course of her research and mental state, forever." I'm wondering though, does this log line have enough of her goal in it, wRead more
Okay this is great advice.
New log line:
“During a ferocious storm on an isolated wind farm in Northern Ontario, a headstrong engineer encounters an ominous force changing the course of her research and mental state, forever.”
I’m wondering though, does this log line have enough of her goal in it, which is to develop a new form of renewable energy storage? Perhaps I don’t need to get specific and “research” as the goal is enough… What do you guys think?
See lessIn dystopian future governed by a biotechnology corporation, a young woman?s investigation into her father?s sudden disappearance leads her to believe he is a test-subject in a secret government location called ?The Factory?. When she finds herself with a group of prisoners on a vehicle heading towards an unknown location, she realizes she is on her way to The Factory and must find her father and escape before they are changed forever.
Hmmm. this is good but for my story I think it is more important to find a way to explain that they way she is planning on getting her father out of the program is by getting herself abducted into it: In a dystopian future, a young woman attempts to rescue her father from a secret government programRead more
Hmmm. this is good but for my story I think it is more important to find a way to explain that they way she is planning on getting her father out of the program is by getting herself abducted into it:
In a dystopian future, a young woman attempts to rescue her father from a secret government program that tortures and genetically modifies enemies of the state by getting herself abducted into it.
I’m trying to figure out a better way of saying “by getting herself abducted into it.” cause that sounds badly worded to me.
See lessIn dystopian future governed by a biotechnology corporation, a young woman?s investigation into her father?s sudden disappearance leads her to believe he is a test-subject in a secret government location called ?The Factory?. When she finds herself with a group of prisoners on a vehicle heading towards an unknown location, she realizes she is on her way to The Factory and must find her father and escape before they are changed forever.
Nice!
Nice!
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