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A strawberry obsessed college student runs away to seek fame after suffering from physical and emotional abuse in 1960s San Diego.
This is what I can glean: “A quirky [aka strawberry-obsessed] [midwestern] college student escapes her [misogynistic father] to chase fame and fortune during the 1960s San Diego [counterculture phenomenon]” Added a “California or bust”. Amp up her dilemma by changing “escapes” to something more compRead more
This is what I can glean:
“A quirky [aka strawberry-obsessed] [midwestern] college student escapes her [misogynistic father] to chase fame and fortune during the 1960s San Diego [counterculture phenomenon]”
Added a “California or bust”.
Amp up her dilemma by changing “escapes” to something more complex concerning her abuser’s relationship.
Took liberties with the type of abuse.
No clue what her talents are e.g., singer – for color.
Added a world builder.
Hope you find this constructive, make this yours, keep going!
See lessA strawberry obsessed college student runs away to seek fame after suffering from physical and emotional abuse in 1960s San Diego.
Yes. OP - show don't tell "finds herself in coming of age adventures of growing up"
Yes.
OP – show don’t tell “finds herself in coming of age adventures of growing up”
See lessThe mob’s top enforcer does not experience fear or pain, he is selfless, loyal and incredibly focused but his life is on the line and he is running out of time because the headstrong and impulsive youth who steals £17m from the mob is always just one step ahead.
Consider the following: [A stone-cold] or [The families top] mob enforcer must [track down GOAL]… His life is one the line by whom? Instead of “running out of time”, take how much time he has and translate into your logline e.g. A stone-cold mob enforcer has three days to [GOAL]… For color, who is tRead more
Consider the following:
[A stone-cold] or [The families top] mob enforcer must [track down GOAL]…
His life is one the line by whom?
Instead of “running out of time”, take how much time he has and translate into your logline e.g. A stone-cold mob enforcer has three days to [GOAL]…
For color, who is this youth? E.g., mob-turned-informant, enforcers apprentice, or bagman? You get the idea.
Hope you find this constructive, take care.
See less