1. Posted: May 6, 2021In:

    In a world where humans and supernatural beings coexist, it’s up to the skilled, fun-loving agents of the Paranormal Police Department to deal with the various paranormal perpetrators who break the law.

    Odie Samurai

    Very cool! Are you following them around like on “Cops”? Notice how I turned you into a camera crew 😉, also altered to not use “Paranormal” twice. Example: In a world where humans and supernatural beings coexist, a camera crew follows fun-loving agents of the Paranormal Police Department while theyRead more

    Very cool! Are you following them around like on “Cops”?
    Notice how I turned you into a camera crew 😉, also altered to not use “Paranormal” twice.

    Example:
    In a world where humans and supernatural beings coexist, a camera crew follows fun-loving agents of the Paranormal Police Department while they deal with otherworldly perpetrators.

    Hope you find this constructive, take care.

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  2. Posted: May 4, 2021In:

    After losing her best friend in an abandoned building, a girl will have to find a way out before an old man forces her to face her greatest fear.

    Best Answer
    Odie Samurai

    Consider the following to strengthen your logline: 1. Why were they in this build? E.g., Urban explorers shooting their latest abandoned vid. 2. What’s the psychology of your protag? E.g., Claustrophobic, afraid of the dark, reckless? 3. Who is this old man? A “get off of my lawn” derelict? 4. WhatRead more

    Consider the following to strengthen your logline:
    1. Why were they in this build? E.g., Urban explorers shooting their latest abandoned vid.
    2. What’s the psychology of your protag? E.g., Claustrophobic, afraid of the dark, reckless?
    3. Who is this old man? A “get off of my lawn” derelict?
    4. What does “forces her to face her greatest fear” look like?

    Take care.

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  3. Posted: May 1, 2021In:

    Longtime crook and materialist Tony Argleton is recruited by an FBI funded group to risk his life retrieving a priceless, golden mcguffin stolen by the ruthless Nickle Revolver crime family, in order to avoid any lawful punishment and change his image.

    Odie Samurai

    Thanks for providing a synopsis, here are my thoughts: 1. For FBI recruiting believability think about elevating his criminal stature. 2. Since 24K gold bills have a reputation of being a novelty, I amped yours up to priceless. 3. Spotlight these “ruthless mobsters” to make your premise unique. ExamRead more

    Thanks for providing a synopsis, here are my thoughts:
    1. For FBI recruiting believability think about elevating his criminal stature.
    2. Since 24K gold bills have a reputation of being a novelty, I amped yours up to priceless.
    3. Spotlight these “ruthless mobsters” to make your premise unique.

    Example:
    “An incarcerated master thief is recruited by the FBI to recover a priceless golden dollar from the Five Family syndicate in exchange for his freedom.”

    I wish you the best in your endeavors and would love to see the feature, keep going!

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