1. Posted: April 12, 2012In:

    While investigating a backload of unsolved murders, a dispirited detective learns that the local P.T.A. is more involved in ?community service? than originally thought.

    jamesmichael Penpusher

    I like the idea, the involvement of the P.T.A is interesting. Also its good that you have given your main character a flaw, his 'dispirited,' nature. This means that he will be able to overcome this during his investigation, good chance for character building. I'm just curious as to what the incitinRead more

    I like the idea, the involvement of the P.T.A is interesting. Also its good that you have given your main character a flaw, his ‘dispirited,’ nature. This means that he will be able to overcome this during his investigation, good chance for character building.
    I’m just curious as to what the inciting incident is. Is it one new murder in particular or does he suddenly find a way to link all the old ones?

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  2. Posted: April 9, 2012In:

    His optical implant switched off for non-payment of a loan, a 22nd Century private investigator must re-animate his hated android to help him solve the case of a missing billionaire robotics savant, in the process uncovering a militant group of androids and a maniacal Senator hell-bent on controlling the world

    jamesmichael Penpusher

    I agree with Karel. I don't really understand what the opening line has to do with the rest of the story, it only serves to make the rest of the logline more confusing and detracts from the main story

    I agree with Karel. I don’t really understand what the opening line has to do with the rest of the story, it only serves to make the rest of the logline more confusing and detracts from the main story

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