Hello FFF,

This logline is about an already written spec I began two years ago for the Industry Insiders contest. As well as for the Sheldon Turner’s one, I used the Roger Avary’s logline here because it matches perfectly with the script (unless it is the script that matches perfectly with the logline hahaha!), in order to get?some feedback to make a better one.

I don’t think this logline is dishonest: this is not?a SciFi story strictly speaking as it is written as a thriller and it doesn’t exploit any SciFi elements. The different times sequences are linked in the chronological order of the plot, without any SFX, the only differences being in the historical settings, costumes, etc. ?Time switching is just a storytelling convention given in the setup (the first 15 pages written for the contest).

In an other post, I wrote:

“Which doesn?t mean that all these loglines are bad:

1? to be vague ?and allusive is sometimes the best way to be intriguing and?appealing, for many stories, either it?s?bad (I bet that nobody would watch 50 Shades Of Grey if they?knew?what they?ll see hahaha) or?good.

2? Logline.It encourages its users to write their loglines before beginning to write (which is not the case here) to test their ideas. In this case, this is interesting to begin with something vague for three?reasons:

• You can?start with a very simple idea and this is a good way to make your readers fill the blanks, giving you fresh?elements?for the ?development of your story,

• Feedback is always useful but often unconstructive: each of your readers makes their own story in their mind from your logline; one arguing that this point is good, the other that it?s bad? everybody having ideas “better than yours”. So you need to be selective (*). And building your logline (and your story) using feedback may avoid yourself some disappointment.

• Giving?a precise logline before beginning?to write?means that you have a very precise idea of your plot? which will not survive your first draft. Your story will turn upside-down;?half of your characters will be changed? If your final logline is the same than your first one, this can mean two things: ? either you?re very lucky ? or you lose many occasions to improve your?work.

3? in the business area, a logline is the first tool you use to promote your?screenplay? and the first tool used to steal good ideas.
So,?although?there?are?never two identical stories based on the same logline, a good logline must be vague or biased enough to tell a lot?about?your story, but not exactly your story. You better hide some important plot details, particularly what can be high-concept elements, switches, climax?
Even if you can proof your anteriority (which is long and expensive), you must also proof it was stolen to gain before the court (which is even more long, expensive and difficult). Unless, you may receive answers like ?we have a similar project? or ?that?s already been done?? which often means that your idea was found interesting and is now in a notebook to potentially be developed by a hired screenwriter.”

(*) If you practices contests and Script Doctors, this could reminds something to you hahaha!