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An alcoholic soldier must face his abusive father and confront his own addictions before he loses his memory.
@dpg thank YOU for your sticking with the process and providing useful feedback! I'm all about getting there; the twists and winds of the road are necessary part of the journey. >>For the purpose of a plot and logline, the objective goal should always be framed positively, not negatively. OkayRead more
dpg thank YOU for your sticking with the process and providing useful feedback! I’m all about getting there; the twists and winds of the road are necessary part of the journey.
>>For the purpose of a plot and logline, the objective goal should always be framed positively, not negatively.
Okay, I hear you–I think the positive side of his dilemma would be “achieve lasting sobriety and emotional healing.” There isn’t a crawling through the pipe moment, or finding an ark or grail. The closest thing to that is finding his friend’s mother (the promise he makes to his friend). That’s the objective goal that occupies him the latter half of the script. And his friendship is set up so that this objective makes perfect sense, especially for a man driven to find answers.
>>But a logline is about a protagonist?s objective goal, not the subjective problem he needs to overcome to achieve that goal.
I agree with you. The subjective problem is the inverse of the objective goal. The problem is, from where I’m sitting, “Get sober/Achieve peace” is more of a thematic goal–it’s not something tangible or concrete like “escape from prison” is. But it IS the goal in this case.
>>What?s the corresponding visual moment in your story?
It’s the main character leaving behind a gun (the threat of suicide) and a letter (where he learns how his friend really died in Afghanistan) and walking away having finally found his peace after meeting with his friend’s mother. Again–it’s not a concrete moment of physicality, but rather the culmination of a screenplay’s worth of pain and trauma finally being accepted rather than rejected. And he walks away a “free” man.
See lessAfter living with the lie for 30 years that she heroically assassinated a notorious Nazi war criminal, a new clue gives a retired Mossad agent one last chance to finish the job she botched.
Intriguing! I'm unsure if you actually need to include the "hook" (the lie) in this logline, as it seems like it might unnecessarily complicate the premise you're selling. The core premise is this Mossad agent coming out of retirement to hunt down and kill the last Nazi war criminal who ever managedRead more
Intriguing!
I’m unsure if you actually need to include the “hook” (the lie) in this logline, as it seems like it might unnecessarily complicate the premise you’re selling.
The core premise is this Mossad agent coming out of retirement to hunt down and kill the last Nazi war criminal who ever managed to evade/escape her. It might be important to the script that she pretended that she had killed the Nazi 30 years go. It doesn’t really change the logline though.
See lessAn alcoholic soldier must face his abusive father and confront his own addictions before he loses his memory.
So here's a long-winded, but possibly on the right track, version: When an alcoholic soldier with PTSD from the war in Afghanistan has a fatal confrontation with his abusive father after returning stateside, he is sent to a rehab facility, but learns he can't overcome his addiction and escape his paRead more
So here’s a long-winded, but possibly on the right track, version:
When an alcoholic soldier with PTSD from the war in Afghanistan has a fatal confrontation with his abusive father after returning stateside, he is sent to a rehab facility, but learns he can’t overcome his addiction and escape his past or trauma until he travels to Malaysia to fulfill a promise made to a friend in combat.
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