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When an idealistic attorney discovers the man she freed from prison is a cold-blooded killer she chooses payback over ethics and mounts a stunning plan to put him back inside.
What happens if she doesn't succeed in her plan?
What happens if she doesn’t succeed in her plan?
See lessIn an anthromorpic world, a young lion cub Living in his father shadow, decides to create the world?s first diverse sports team. Determined to prove themselves, these outcasts battle against convention and use their differences as strength in a futuristic sport.
So you can lose the "In an anthromorphic world" part (btw it's anthropomorphic). It's assumed the world you've created has some relation to people even if it's shown through the eyes and actions of an all-animal cast. This logline is thematically unfocused and has no motivations, stakes or urgency tRead more
So you can lose the “In an anthromorphic world” part (btw it’s anthropomorphic). It’s assumed the world you’ve created has some relation to people even if it’s shown through the eyes and actions of an all-animal cast. This logline is thematically unfocused and has no motivations, stakes or urgency to it, so it falls flat.
First question I’d ask: What are stakes if the young lion doesn’t succeed? Will his father disown him? Kill him?
2nd question I’d ask: How does “using their differences” help address the protagonist’s goal? Is the lion by nature unable to play well with other creatures and therefore missing a vital component in achieving success (ie, he needs diversity to succeed where he previously failed by staying with his own kind)?
“Battle against convention” is bland and virtually useless information. Why does joining a diverse sports team matter to the lion cub or his father? It seems like you have to find the core meat behind A) the sports team B) diversity and C) the father’s approval and love as well as the stakes (what happens if he doesn’t succeed) before you’ll find your story. Good luck!
See lessA confirmed bachelor struggles to maintain a life of no commitments, no emotional attachments after a lonely boy adopts him as a surrogate dad.
What's crazy is this strikes me as a logline that doesn't understand stakes. What happens if he doesn't succeed in his attempts to live a life of no commitments or emotional attachments? Right now this seems extremely low-stakes b/c the downside is that he becomes more human and emotionally involvedRead more
What’s crazy is this strikes me as a logline that doesn’t understand stakes.
What happens if he doesn’t succeed in his attempts to live a life of no commitments or emotional attachments? Right now this seems extremely low-stakes b/c the downside is that he becomes more human and emotionally involved–which seems like a good thing. It’s just funny that a produced film has such a weak logline–kind of misleads aspiring writers in their attempts to write the perfect logline to describe their screenplay.
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