1. Posted: May 31, 2017In:

    An aged bounty hunter returns to town to pay respects to his deceased son, but makes himself a target when he offers to pay his son’s debt owed to his son’s murderers.

    jumeriot Logliner

    Also, just my opinion but you've written "son" too many times I think. Maybe, just maybe, your logline could be something like: When an aged bounty hunter returns to town, he becomes the target of his son's murderer, to whom debt has to be paid. Though thinking about it, it wouldn't make much senseRead more

    Also, just my opinion but you’ve written “son” too many times I think.

    Maybe, just maybe, your logline could be something like:
    When an aged bounty hunter returns to town, he becomes the target of his son’s murderer, to whom debt has to be paid.

    Though thinking about it, it wouldn’t make much sense for him to be the target since the murderer might want his money back at one point and since he already killed the son…

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  2. Posted: May 30, 2017In:

    Imprisoned in an apartment with a complete stranger, an idealist twenty-something has to find a way to save herself and the world population from the secret organization holding her captive.

    jumeriot Logliner

    So the secret organization wants to recolonize Earth to start over by exterminating everyone except the chosen few (the girl included). The girl finds herself in an apartment with a guy (we don't know much about him at first, but he's been in the apartment for a while). She is amibitous and tries toRead more

    So the secret organization wants to recolonize Earth to start over by exterminating everyone except the chosen few (the girl included). The girl finds herself in an apartment with a guy (we don’t know much about him at first, but he’s been in the apartment for a while). She is amibitous and tries to do everything she can to make the world better (I will show that in the scenes before she gets kidnapped). ?She is supposed to be the girl who will form a relationship with the guy (the couple eventually leads a group of other chosen ones to build the new society after the extermination).

    The organization is made up of all the most powerful people in the World, even the President is on it. How would you call an organization like that? That’s trying to create a new society by killing the “old world”.

    I don’t have much of a story though, that’s why I’m trying to get the logline right at first.

    Thank you for helping!

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  3. Posted: May 29, 2017In:

    Upon realizing that aging process has stopped, Nymph must continue living life using the ?psychological weapon? in order to keep her family and clone children safe and alive, while she is working together with a Demon ? making love means unleashing the weapon.

    jumeriot Logliner

    I agree with dpg, this is confusing in every way. Please check these and reword your logline so we can help you: https://loglines.org/howto/ https://loglines.org/how-to-write-loglines-1/

    I agree with dpg, this is confusing in every way.
    Please check these and reword your logline so we can help you:
    https://loglines.org/howto/
    https://loglines.org/how-to-write-loglines-1/

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