1. Posted: August 29, 2012In:

    Nearing the end of his parole and looking to put his criminal past behind him, an ex-con?s plans are derailed by the arrival of two former prison buddies, one with a bullet wound and the other with a plan to rob the local bank.

    JVGray

    Thanks for all the great responses!

    Thanks for all the great responses!

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  2. Posted: July 28, 2012In:

    A troubled teen and his mother relocate to a small town where he attends a school run by a syndicate of bullies who terrorize students and teachers alike. A former bully himself he?s legally forbidden to engage in violent action ? instead he trains a group of outcasts how to defend themselves.

    JVGray

    This is a revision based on Lachie's notes. When a troubled teen on probation for bullying relocates to a new school he must train a group of outcasts to defend themselves against bullies who are far worse than him.

    This is a revision based on Lachie’s notes.

    When a troubled teen on probation for bullying relocates to a new school he must train a group of outcasts to defend themselves against bullies who are far worse than him.

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  3. Posted: July 29, 2012In:

    Downfall

    JVGray

    You have a lot of the meat in that first line and lose steam with the second line. Not knowing your story I'm guessing the element of "pressure" is something more mysterious or wider in scope than simply a life or death situation, maybe distilling it down into something like: In the aftermath of a tRead more

    You have a lot of the meat in that first line and lose steam with the second line. Not knowing your story I’m guessing the element of “pressure” is something more mysterious or wider in scope than simply a life or death situation, maybe distilling it down into something like:

    In the aftermath of a terrorist bombing, a group of strangers trapped in a collapsing building begin to suspect one of their fellow survivors may be responsible for attack.

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