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When an exiled dream thief struggling with his guilt over the death of his wife receives an opportunity to return to his children he must plant an idea in someone else's mind undetected despite the risk of becoming trapped in limbo and the recurring danger of his own subconscious.
I really love this logline. Great work, Rory. The only thing I would tweak is punctuation. Throw in a few commas: "When an exiled dream thief struggling with his guilt over the death of his wife receives an opportunity to return to his children, he must plant an idea in someone else's mind undetecteRead more
I really love this logline. Great work, Rory.
The only thing I would tweak is punctuation. Throw in a few commas:
“When an exiled dream thief struggling with his guilt over the death of his wife receives an opportunity to return to his children, he must plant an idea in someone else’s mind undetected, despite the risk of becoming trapped in limbo and the recurring danger of his own subconscious.
Keep ’em coming!
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Hi Alexander, It seems like you're struggling with grammar and spelling. Make sure the logline is perfect in those areas. Then, check out https://loglines.org/howto and you'll be able to write a much improved next draft to the logline. At this point I can recommend to limit your main character to onRead more
Hi Alexander,
It seems like you’re struggling with grammar and spelling. Make sure the logline is perfect in those areas.
Then, check out https://loglines.org/howto and you’ll be able to write a much improved next draft to the logline.
At this point I can recommend to limit your main character to one, rather than the entire human kind (which I believe you wanted to say).
Good luck!
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Hi Alex - Thanks for your feedback! Did you know there is a section on this site that explains what the components of a good logline are? It's here: https://loglines.org/howto . Saves you from having to copy & paste the guidelines. :) Also - minor detail - we spell "inciting incident".
Hi Alex – Thanks for your feedback! Did you know there is a section on this site that explains what the components of a good logline are? It’s here: https://loglines.org/howto
. Saves you from having to copy & paste the guidelines. 🙂
See lessAlso – minor detail – we spell “inciting incident”.