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A neurotic writer attempts to break his noncompliant brother out of jail while still trying to preserve a relationship with his psychotic wife.
Well, I must say this writer is unfortunate to be surrounded by dysfunctional people! :) I don't really understand what the story is, here. I get that it may be suspenseful to see someone trying to free his brother from jail. But why? Was he jailed unjustly? And for what reason? What is the plan aftRead more
Well, I must say this writer is unfortunate to be surrounded by dysfunctional people! 🙂
I don’t really understand what the story is, here. I get that it may be suspenseful to see someone trying to free his brother from jail.
But why?
Was he jailed unjustly? And for what reason? What is the plan after getting the brother from jail? Surely the authorities will come after him.
And what does the psychotic wife have to do with it all? Also, Is she married to the writer or the brother?
Finally, I’m a sucker for Inciting Incidents. I would like to know what sparked these events. Is the inciting incident the jailing of the brother or something else?
While answering these questions in your new version of the logline (to be posted here as a comment), perhaps have a look at the tips on writing loglines in the section “Write It”.
See lessWith dreams of writing the next great American novel, a struggling author blackmails a middle-aged hitman for inspiration.
Congrats on comment #3,000!! There's nothing to be won, but I hope you'll come back later. :)
Congrats on comment #3,000!!
There’s nothing to be won, but I hope you’ll come back later. 🙂
See lessWhen a devoted woman suspects infidelity in her husband, her investigations leads her to discover unforgiving facts about him which may force her to take an irrational decision with daring consequences.
This logline is quite vague. "Unforgiving facts," "an irrational decision" and "daring consequences"... None of these actually give us much to work with. All we REALLY know is that this movie is about a woman following her husband. Make it clear why this will be an exciting movie. What are the stakeRead more
This logline is quite vague.
“Unforgiving facts,” “an irrational decision” and “daring consequences”…
None of these actually give us much to work with.
All we REALLY know is that this movie is about a woman following her husband.
Make it clear why this will be an exciting movie. What are the stakes? Because of the infidelity, we already assume she might lose her husband. But what else will be at stake? Tell us in the logline.
Also, what does she learn in the process. She is ‘devoted’, which is not necessarily a weakness. Is she also gullible and naive perhaps? It would help the logline if we can see some character growth for the hero.
See less