1. Posted: February 8, 2013In:

    Gwen lives her simple life in the Empire, until she is attacked by a Rogue Empowered. With her guardian kidnapped and the fate of everyone she loves depending on her forgotten Powers, will she remember her past or will she keep on Running?

    katiefracas

    Hey Rhiannond, Straight off I want to tell you I like the feel of your film - 'Empire' and 'Rogue Empowered' give a star wars vibe and I personally love Sci-Fi. Plus I can see with kidnapping, running and vital decisions all featuring in the logline you intend to write something fast paced and excitRead more

    Hey Rhiannond,

    Straight off I want to tell you I like the feel of your film – ‘Empire’ and ‘Rogue Empowered’ give a star wars vibe and I personally love Sci-Fi. Plus I can see with kidnapping, running and vital decisions all featuring in the logline you intend to write something fast paced and exciting. Awesome!

    I’m doing a screenwriting course at the moment and one thing we were taught was never to make a decision the main crux of your movie’s logline. The act of making a decision takes moments and yet your movie has a story that will sustain it for over an hour. We want to know what is that story!

    You definitely have great blocks for something in here my (immensely simplified!) possible take is below:

    When a simple Empire girl’s guardian is kidnapped she realises she must recover her forgotten powers to protect the fate of everyone she loves.

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  2. Posted: February 12, 2013In:

    After witnessing her boyfriends set up in a drug heist gone wrong a naive gangland girlfriend must unravel the truth behind what went down if she's going to get either of them out alive.

    katiefracas

    thanks Richiev - Getting the word count down and keeping the sense - major bonus!

    thanks Richiev – Getting the word count down and keeping the sense – major bonus!

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  3. Posted: February 6, 2013In:

    When Jake, the long distance truck driver, returns back home, he discover that 2 years of his life went missing. What had happened since he took a nap during his last shift?

    katiefracas

    HI Jan, your premise is intriguing! What I would like to see in the logline is the main action of the story e.g. He must decipher this new future, he must win back the love of the wife that has now moved on, he must find a way back to his own time. Also I think you can save words by losing the lastRead more

    HI Jan,

    your premise is intriguing!

    What I would like to see in the logline is the main action of the story e.g. He must decipher this new future, he must win back the love of the wife that has now moved on, he must find a way back to his own time. Also I think you can save words by losing the last sentence – that question is valid and exciting but already implied.

    How about ‘When a long distance truck driver returns home to find the world has moved on two years without him he must figure out what has happened in his absence’

    You know your story perhaps there is a ticking clock so you could add ‘before he is sucked further into the future and away from his life’ or perhaps there is an antagonist so you could add ‘before his childhood best friend manages to steal away with his wife.’

    Whatever it might be!

    Good luck!

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