1. Posted: February 17, 2020In:

    After being diagnosed with an terminal illness, a radio host take down drug lords in order to pay for her cancer treatment.

    Keymiser Logliner

    I don't know, am not a fan of the fact she go and do a drug deal when she has terminal illness, there's no character growth present, and definitely not established in the logline. I'd think she'd do something more positive before she ends up dying. Also, what is this terminal illness? could mean a lRead more

    I don’t know, am not a fan of the fact she go and do a drug deal when she has terminal illness, there’s no character growth present, and definitely not established in the logline. I’d think she’d do something more positive before she ends up dying.

    Also, what is this terminal illness? could mean a lot of things that put her in risk of dying..

    This doesn’t give me a sympathetic feeling for this character that okay she has a terminal illness and at stake of dying but need more depth of what caused this to begin with and is there a way she can overcome her negatives into a positive something she didn’t realize in the beginning. Your character always have to have a change of heart in his/her story.

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  2. Posted: February 15, 2020In:

    After the climate change destroyed the balance between the real and fantastic world in Kamakura, a young woman whit magical Powers decides to contact two documentary filmakers to help her investigaste the supernatural events that happen in the city.

    Best Answer
    Keymiser Logliner

    interesting concept, that I personally like. However, is this woman a superhero? or magician just a little more descriptive about her will help, but what are the stakes if this like what happens if all seem to go wrong? Just something to think about, but your logline is almost there.   Cheers

    interesting concept, that I personally like. However, is this woman a superhero? or magician just a little more descriptive about her will help, but what are the stakes if this like what happens if all seem to go wrong? Just something to think about, but your logline is almost there.

     

    Cheers

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  3. Posted: February 15, 2020In:

    A woman from the Rust Belt strives for fame and glory by entering the Chicago marathon, but after she unexpectedly gets pregnant is faced with a tragic decision.

    Keymiser Logliner

    Its never a good idea to guess what your main protagonist is, a better description of her.   I'm assuming that she must be a runner, thats fine but is she a rookie runner? or a professional runner? amateur? , like what makes her unique that we can relate and be sympathetic too? What about thisRead more

    Its never a good idea to guess what your main protagonist is, a better description of her.

     

    I’m assuming that she must be a runner, thats fine but is she a rookie runner? or a professional runner? amateur? , like what makes her unique that we can relate and be sympathetic too? What about this runner makes us wanna care. ??and since this is a self-aware sort of plot , correct me if im wrong but, what is this tragic decision? do she do something that result into breaking her leg, or what that prevents her from finishing the marathon, or does something interfere and distract her from entering or winning the marathon, need more depth in the logline to flush out these things..

     

    Cheers.

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