kpetrakis01 – Reviews – Page 6

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Posted: May 22, 2019In: Drama

A true story, a man jailed twenty-six years for a crime his twin committed fights a choice: exact sweet revenge on his brother or forgive him to be fully and finally free.

kpetrakis01 Logliner

Added an answer on June 8, 2019 at 11:11 am

SO question then, he kills his brother and then what? Would he not go back to jail. From my recent viewing of When you see us on Netflix (disturbing but brilliant), when someone is released from prison, a felon, they deal with the inability to find work, loss of youth, lack of support, - basically vRead more

SO question then, he kills his brother and then what? Would he not go back to jail.

From my recent viewing of When you see us on Netflix (disturbing but brilliant), when someone is released from prison, a felon, they deal with the inability to find work, loss of youth, lack of support, – basically very little hope of living a better life. So I would think there would be so many things to deal with at that point.

Did he know his twin brother? What sort of person is he? Did he continue to commit crimes? The fact that protagonist was convicted means that the twin either didn’t know or is very slippery. How does an ex-con track someone down.

I’ve heard about the twin theory before but the first time the person didn’t know he had a twin as they were adopted out. Did these twins grow up together and one betrayed the other? What has he been doing for 26 years in jail – did he not appeal? If he knew there was a twin involved, would that not have been a question for the police, jury etc.

I have too many questions about knowing about each other, one got convicted and the innocence of the other wasn’t raised…..

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Posted: June 3, 2019In: Drama

A jaded young woman living in a feudal alternate America plots revenge against the duke who killed her father while working as his daughter’s maid.

kpetrakis01 Logliner

Added an answer on June 8, 2019 at 11:04 am

Don't worry - it's amazing what you can refine about your story with just the logline and hence why we all do this. :) If the inciting incident happened say 10 years ago,why is she taking the job now? That sounds like motivation not an inciting incident. What has happened right now for her to decideRead more

Don’t worry – it’s amazing what you can refine about your story with just the logline and hence why we all do this. 🙂

If the inciting incident happened say 10 years ago,why is she taking the job now? That sounds like motivation not an inciting incident. What has happened right now for her to decide to take the job? Was she of age? Has the system got worse? Did they offer the job to anyone in the village for the first time so it was the first opportunity? She was homeless and no where else to go? The Duke took a liking to her and offered her the job etc Hope that helps understand inciting incident vs motivation.? Why is she taking the job and seeking revenge today? What changed?

I also think jaded is probably a little subtle for someone who’s had a father murdered and lives in feudal system? Jaded people aren’t motivated to do something – unless an inciting incident. Maybe she’s bitter, or maybe she’s a village leader, or an outlaw – give her something to work with – something unique that adds to the contrast between her current existence and what she’s about to do.

Also murderous Aristocrat is not adding anything. What if he was cruel, sadistic, tyrannical. Maybe he’s charming, cunning, greedy. Give him something -? -something unusual – maybe he’s seen as generous, maybe he’s a great leader? we already know he murdered someone so that description is unnecessary.

Hope that helps.

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