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When her 40 year marriage abruptly ends, a professional Nurse impulsively accepts an invitation to caretake a 400 year old cottage on a small Greek Island, to discover that between the eccentric locals and her complicated housemate the journey back to self is far from peaceful. #For Meetup
I like your story idea, Jax. Some might say that you should be more specific describing how the eccentric locals and the complicated housemate create obstacles that get in the way of her reaching freedom. But I think you've provided enough to pique the curiosity of a reader. But, of course, I couldRead more
I like your story idea, Jax. Some might say that you should be more specific describing how the eccentric locals and the complicated housemate create obstacles that get in the way of her reaching freedom. But I think you’ve provided enough to pique the curiosity of a reader. But, of course, I could be wrong. I don’t claim to be any sort of logline expert. LOL
I’ve also rewritten your logline. Not necessarily saying it’s any better than yours – simply couldn’t help myself. LOL again.
After her 40-year marriage disintegrates, a retired nurse embraces her newfound freedom by impulsively accepting a job as caretaker of a quaint estate on a small Greek island ? but between the eccentric locals and her complicated housemate, this late bloomer discovers the road to freedom is far from peaceful.
See lessWhen her 40 year marriage abruptly ends, a professional Nurse impulsively accepts an invitation to caretake a 400 year old cottage on a small Greek Island, to discover that between the eccentric locals and her complicated housemate the journey back to self is far from peaceful. #For Meetup
As The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel proved, movies with an older cast can do well at the box office - according to IMDB, it cost $10,000,000 and grossed over $46,000,000. But unless your script is good enough to attract the likes of Maggie Smith, Judi Dench and Bill Nighy, make your characters youngerRead more
As The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel proved, movies with an older cast can do well at the box office – according to IMDB, it cost $10,000,000 and grossed over $46,000,000. But unless your script is good enough to attract the likes of Maggie Smith, Judi Dench and Bill Nighy, make your characters younger if you can. I’m not saying don’t do it; I’m saying do it only if your story wouldn’t work otherwise.
See lessWhen her 40 year marriage abruptly ends, a professional Nurse impulsively accepts an invitation to caretake a 400 year old cottage on a small Greek Island, to discover that between the eccentric locals and her complicated housemate the journey back to self is far from peaceful. #For Meetup
Read this from Script magazine: Logline Mistake #6: A character must discover? something about herself or come to terms with? herself. 'Over the course of a long hike together, two siblings must come to terms with their best friend?s death.' Or else?what? If the siblings don?t come to terms with theRead more
Read this from Script magazine:
Logline Mistake #6:
A character must discover? something about herself or come to terms with? herself.
‘Over the course of a long hike together, two siblings must come to terms with their best friend?s death.’
Or else?what? If the siblings don?t come to terms with their best friend?s death, they?ll finish the hike and go home. No big deal. Certainly not worth making an entire movie about it.
Remember, EVERY script is about coming to terms with some part of yourself?but that?s just the internal conflict. The logline, however, should primarily describe what the film LOOKS like?that is, the external, visible conflict.
Instead, what if the siblings disagree about which one of them caused the death? And what if it?s not just their best friend?it?s their dad? Their argument escalates during the hike, and eventually they?re so upset with each other that they each take a different route up a mountain. But then both get stranded on the mountainside during a blizzard. Now, if they can?t come to an agreement over their father?s death and refuse to help each other escape the wilderness?they?ll both be stranded out here and die. THAT is the beginning of a far superior logline, where the interior and exterior goals are inextricably intertwined.
Follow this link if you want to read the whole article:
http://www.scriptmag.com/features/7-crucial-logline-mistakes-fix
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