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For single mother Beth, raising teenage twins & juggling a career just got medieval when into her world lands a baby dragon named George.
As far as I am concerned, it doesn't matter what type of film it will be. Once the script is sold, it becomes someone else's property, the script may lend itself to drama or comedy, but someone else will have the final say. To me, the idea of a logline is to gain the attenion of someone who may haveRead more
As far as I am concerned, it doesn’t matter what type of film it will be. Once the script is sold, it becomes someone else’s property, the script may lend itself to drama or comedy, but someone else will have the final say. To me, the idea of a logline is to gain the attenion of someone who may have 1000 loglines to read through.
See lessWith that in mind, I’d see: A dragon in the modern world, (like the WaterHorse without Loch Ness). So, does the idea of a single mum who is trying to raising twins and have a career interest me? Sort of, maybe.
Naming the dragon George is a bit of a no-no to me, mainly because of all the countries that have a legend about a ‘George’ and the dragon.
Does the dragon become the focal point of the film, as in Braveheart or Eragon?
To someone who likes the idea of a dragon in a film, the name of the dragon is unimportant at this stage.
What do you see as the more important part of the film? The dragon, the twins, Beth.
How does the era of the film come into the story, Beth’s career, her home life?
So, do you keep the logline as it is, or is there a better ‘hook’. If it were my choice I’d leave out the word medieval out, that word conjures up notions of a period of time (intended or not).
Juggling a career, that points to modern day, medieval does not.
Naming the dragon may cause a potential buyer to think of ‘George and the Dragon’, your hook may have just vanished.
Do you have anything else that might draw that interest/ hook back? If it is needed?
Finding that the term for several lesbian vampires is a 'bed'. Going to Pornithian House, the Lesbian Vampires Hunters and friends go to rid the bed of lesbian vampires from the house of Porn.
Karel Segers, Yes, your comments were helpful. By leaving out the 'bed' and trying to make the logline simpler, I'd be left with. The Lesbian Vampire Hunters go to Pornithian House, to rid the lesbian vampires from the House of Porn. Does that read better than it was?
Karel Segers,
Yes, your comments were helpful.
By leaving out the ‘bed’ and trying to make the logline simpler, I’d be left with.
See lessThe Lesbian Vampire Hunters go to Pornithian House, to rid the lesbian vampires from the House of Porn.
Does that read better than it was?
Distraught that his favourite daughter was captured. King Neptune wanted her back, now he is getting angry, very angry.
What I wrote is not a new idea, films about Mermaids have been done before. My story is a variation on what has been done before and was written in such a way that it sounds new.
What I wrote is not a new idea, films about Mermaids have been done before. My story is a variation on what has been done before and was written in such a way that it sounds new.
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