Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
Nora Nox
This isn't really a logline. Check out the Formula page first. Also, please don't post multiple loglines at the same time. Let people have a chance to respond to one of them and also to people who have posted below yours.
This isn’t really a logline. Check out the Formula page first.
Also, please don’t post multiple loglines at the same time. Let people have a chance to respond to one of them and also to people who have posted below yours.
See lessOn a post-apocalyptic Earth with one side continually facing the sun, a gritty outsider and the metaphysical representation of his soul are forced into facing a new tyrannical regime that threatens the last remains of humanity.
Ok... so what's he gonna do about it? What's his goal? He's currently a passive protagonist - big no-no! The hero should never be forced to do anything. He should do it because that's his choice. Who's forcing him? Why this guy? Why does he HAVE to be the hero? Why does this story have to be set inRead more
Ok… so what’s he gonna do about it? What’s his goal? He’s currently a passive protagonist – big no-no! The hero should never be forced to do anything. He should do it because that’s his choice. Who’s forcing him? Why this guy? Why does he HAVE to be the hero?
Why does this story have to be set in a post-apocalyptic Earth with one side facing the sun? All the elements in a logline should have some cohesion otherwise it tends to feel a bit unclear. With this in mind, I don’t understand what the purpose is of our MC travelling with a metaphysical representation of his soul. What form does it take? What do we see on screen?
I can’t help but think, if a meteor crashed into Earth with enough force to stop its rotation (it spins at 1100 mph… that’s pretty nuts!) then surely all life on earth would be obliterated in an instant.
I think the world building stuff at present is simply a situation that holds no bearing on the plot. It sounds cool (feasibility irrelevant) but in my head, this would set up a light dwellers vs dark dwellers conflict. The world MUST influence the plot. If you can take it out of this environment and put it in a completely different one – still post-apocalyptic – then it needs more thinking. It may be that there is a connection and it’s simply not in the logline. My advice would be to put it in so the reader understands why this story must be told in this world.
Hope this helps.
See lessA down-on-his-luck videographer breaks his estranged mother out of prison to steal the grand prize from a filthy rich YouTuber – a million-dollar Bitcoin.
There's definitely something here but I think the motivation for the bitcoin needs to be apparent to the reader. Currently, I feel like the only reason he's going after it is because he's down on his luck. I also think you need to clarify why he MUST break his mum out of prison - she has to be a masRead more
There’s definitely something here but I think the motivation for the bitcoin needs to be apparent to the reader. Currently, I feel like the only reason he’s going after it is because he’s down on his luck. I also think you need to clarify why he MUST break his mum out of prison – she has to be a master criminal/hacker. It’s a comedy so some absurdity in the situation will be expected but we have to believe they are remotely capable of this.
The issue I have with a bitcoin being the prize… it’s a digital currency. So are we simply going to watch a guy and his master hacker mum sitting at a computer for 90mins? How do you even steal a bitcoin?
Why videographer? How does this play in? Doesn’t necessarily have to be apparent in the logline, but I think a logline works better when there’s a continuous and obvious connection between the words chosen.
Why is nobody else trying to steal this bitcoin?
If they’re bungling idiots, how have they got a chance of succeeding? We watch Home Alone and we know from the start, the 8 year old is gonna win. If these guys are the protagonists, we have to want them succeed – so we have to believe they can.
Very interested to see where this goes though.
Hope this helps.
See less