Is the idea that the mother is insecure and goes about planning ways to try and make the daughter do things or say things that provide that proof? If so, I worry that she’ll be a difficult protagonist to get behind because I see her as being incredibly manipulative. That might not be the case, merely my interpretation, but I’d be conscious of it. Also, in order to achieve her objective goal (proof that her daughter loves her) she is not rising above her insecurities – she’s playing right to them. The only way to rise above these insecurities is to stop looking for proof.

In terms of the logline, there’s nothing here that makes me think telling us her daughter is interracial is relevant. I always think a logline shouldn’t describe characters in a way that is unrelated to the rest of the story. If you describe a character as black, I’ll think there’s a race issue and I expect some thematic elements linking through the logline. If you describe her as a woman, I’ll think there’s something specifically and thematically relating to gender in the story. You’ve described her as a “mum” and actually, we can infer that information by the word daughter. Is there another word that gives us more character info specifically related to the plot or the theme? I would tempted to describe her as an “emotionally insecure XXXX” with the XXXX being her profession – and the profession is something like an executive – it suggests that drive. Now we have a character who is clearly smart, professionally confident and used to being in control, but emotionally insecure. She thinks she can use her “professional brain” to fix the problem.

This leads me to the goal. I think it should be something more objective and more visual. It’s almost an internal goal, that proof is felt, and whilst it can be seen on screen, a lot of it is happening inside the character’s heads.

“An emotionally insecure Executive struggles to bond with her newly adopted teenage daughter as they tackle a five-day road-trip to see the girl’s favourite band.”

Hope this helps in some way.

This is cool and an interesting premise.

I have a couple of minor points:

– Is the fact that the spy is American fundamental? Admittedly, there’s a fish out of water thing with it, but I wonder if your protagonist would be better off with a characteristic that suggests an arc. Or something that suggests how she, an individual with no special abilities, can take on someone with the power of telepathy.
– “Telepathic madman”… ok, so they telepathy thing is cool but I wonder if madman is the right choice. I think it could be stronger if he is described in a way that suggests he actually has a clear motive and a goal. He might be a madman, but that makes me think his actions are a result of his madness and potentially more erratic and less calculated. This is totally just my interpretation. The best villains act with complete certainty and a clarity of action that what they’re doing is right e.g. Thanos, Hans Gruber, Darth Vader. Food for thought.
– I think it might be worthwhile adding the ultimate goal of the antagonist. Why does he want to assassinate the Queen?

Hope this helps in some way.