1. Posted: June 12, 2019In:

    After losing her arm in a car accident, a prodigious but reckless chef reconciles with her ill father, who encourages her to seek redemption and forgiveness.

    Mike Pedley Singularity

    Redemption and forgiveness for what? I like the idea of a skilled chef losing her arm so is unable to do what she is good at but, for me, the goal should then be overcoming this adversity. It's a physical disability and an emotional journey. The journey should be physical too BUT through that she goRead more

    Redemption and forgiveness for what?

    I like the idea of a skilled chef losing her arm so is unable to do what she is good at but, for me, the goal should then be overcoming this adversity. It’s a physical disability and an emotional journey. The journey should be physical too BUT through that she goes on an emotional one.

    I feel like what we’ve got so far is the first act only. I want to know what she’s going to do next.

     

     

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  2. Posted: June 12, 2019In:

    A group therapy each of them for a different self control problem decide to take revenge after hearing the new member story.

    Best Answer
    Mike Pedley Singularity

    This doesn't read properly. I'm confused as to what the story is actually about. Check out the "Our formula" tab for help with formatting.My questions that I have currently:Who's the protagonist?Who is getting revenge against who and how?How is this a comedy?Once this logline is in a more conventionRead more

    This doesn’t read properly. I’m confused as to what the story is actually about. Check out the “Our formula” tab for help with formatting.

    My questions that I have currently:

      1. Who’s the protagonist?
      2. Who is getting revenge against who and how?
      3. How is this a comedy?

    Once this logline is in a more conventional format, and at the very least provides answers to 1 & 2 above, it will be easier to offer more feedback.

    Fwiw, I do like what I think is the idea behind this. I need more information to understand it better though.

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  3. Posted: May 7, 2019In:

    When her prestigious legal firm goes under for corruption, a successful lawyer finds herself reliving her troubled childhood when she reluctantly accepts a job as legal aid family court lawyer.

    Mike Pedley Singularity

    Surely a lawyer who's been arrested for corruption would have been immediately disbarred? How is she allowed to practice? In your new version... who's trying to kill her??? To me that came out of nowhere.  

    Surely a lawyer who’s been arrested for corruption would have been immediately disbarred? How is she allowed to practice?

    In your new version… who’s trying to kill her??? To me that came out of nowhere.

     

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