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A couple of cynical fixers from different ends of the political spectrum exploit a series of grisly killings that take place during an increasingly bitter election campaign.
I'd consider making one of the two fixers the protagonist and writing the logline from their perspective (as Richiev has done). This way, there's a clear protagonist and antagonist which always helps to solidify a story in the reader's mind. It's also good to understand which of the two we're supposRead more
I’d consider making one of the two fixers the protagonist and writing the logline from their perspective (as Richiev has done). This way, there’s a clear protagonist and antagonist which always helps to solidify a story in the reader’s mind. It’s also good to understand which of the two we’re supposed to be rooting for to come out on top.?I’d also consider making one cynical and the other idealistic perhaps? The opposing characteristics can add another layer of conflict. In a bid to make the protagonist more likeable, perhaps don’t have them resorting to despicable methods in order to achieve their goal – however, as long as the protagonist takes a slightly higher road than the antagonist you can get away with a lot!
What’s the goal here? White House? Just elected official? Give us a tangible goal that we can visual.
I’d recommend watching Ides of March (2011) and obviously TV shows like The West Wing and House of Cards.
See lessWhen the NFL players go on strike, a former collegiate star quarterback and a group of misfits athletes get a second chance to live out their professional football dreams.
Love this film! I would maybe change the goal to be more related to the aim of winning 3 of 4 games to get into the playoffs. In my mind it's the more tangible goal as each of their individual professional dreams are slightly different and harder for a reader to visualise. I think the description "mRead more
Love this film! I would maybe change the goal to be more related to the aim of winning 3 of 4 games to get into the playoffs. In my mind it’s the more tangible goal as each of their individual professional dreams are slightly different and harder for a reader to visualise. I think the description “misfit athletes” is perfect but I’d maybe say “quarterback must lead a team of misfit athletes” – I think it solidifies his protagonist status a little. Possibly even describe him as “failed” – hint at the internal struggle and makes it easier to see where his own arc is going perhaps?
Just want to watch the film again now!
See lessA psychiatrist on the verge of suicide is haunted by a ghost who shows him that the way to his own happiness is through the suffering of his clients.
Please don't post multiple versions of the same logline. It's difficult for people to critique one idea when some fairly major elements of the story change. It's nice to see the evolution of an idea and the associated feedback. I think the version without the ghost is stronger (in my opinion). WithRead more
Please don’t post multiple versions of the same logline. It’s difficult for people to critique one idea when some fairly major elements of the story change. It’s nice to see the evolution of an idea and the associated feedback.
I think the version without the ghost is stronger (in my opinion). With the ghost it’s almost a bit “God told me to do it”. I think it’s darker and funnier when he’s actually just depressed but ?otherwise mentally sound. I’m thinking of Fargo, where William H. Macy is arranging to have his wife kidnapped. It’s far funnier that he plays it rationally, logically and sanely. The juxtaposition between the nature of the character and the action is where a lot of the humour comes from. ?The audience sympathise with him, they understand him, and that’s what you need too.
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