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When ruthless alien killers with chameleon abilities escape to Earth, an elite, combat security officer must kill or recapture them before they slaughter the humans that get in their way
Agree with all comments. I would change the "cause the ship's captain to lose..." to something about the protagonist. Or make the ship's captain the protagonist. I would just go with saving human lives though. Although you can have a nice internal/external struggle between getting the money and saviRead more
Agree with all comments. I would change the “cause the ship’s captain to lose…” to something about the protagonist. Or make the ship’s captain the protagonist.
I would just go with saving human lives though. Although you can have a nice internal/external struggle between getting the money and saving people. Is there a way to link the two? If humans are killed they lose their commission?
When three shape-shifting alien killers escape his ship and head to Earth, the ship’s security officer must hunt them down before their desire to kill costs the whole crew their commission.
See lessAfter she’s dumped in a nursing-home because her family can’t afford her care, a meek grandmother and a motley-crew of exploited residents attempt to steal back enough money from the corrupt facility owners to return home.
Agree with all comments. I think this sounds like a great idea. Does the meek grandmother lead the motley-crew? If so I would include that detail or at least suggest why this grandmother is instrumental to this heist.In what way are the residents exploited?I'm guessing that the grandmother needs carRead more
Agree with all comments. I think this sounds like a great idea. Does the meek grandmother lead the motley-crew? If so I would include that detail or at least suggest why this grandmother is instrumental to this heist.
In what way are the residents exploited?
I’m guessing that the grandmother needs care other than just the relatives looking after her hence why they can’t afford her care? Usually the care home is the more expensive option.
Agree with variable that ‘mob-affiliated’ should be included – it adds another layer and immediately gives us the impression that they are getting what they deserve.
See lessJulia a high school girl, learns that her younger sister has a bowel syndrome disorder and should undergo surgery as soon as possible. She decides to go to Texas with her two friends. But in their road trip, they get involved in some adventures.
Check out the formula page for formatting guidance. This is more like the set up than a logline because the story kinda starts when their road trip begins. Currently the two things (road trip and bowel syndrome) seem unrelated and there?s ambiguity as to who the ?she? (she decides to...) is referrinRead more
Check out the formula page for formatting guidance. This is more like the set up than a logline because the story kinda starts when their road trip begins. Currently the two things (road trip and bowel syndrome) seem unrelated and there?s ambiguity as to who the ?she? (she decides to…) is referring to. Since the bulk of the story takes place on the road trip tell us what happens there. What?s their goal? What do they learn? What forces are working against them? Where?s the conflict and where?s the story?
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