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Is this good for a first logline
If he's being intensely bullied now... how is that different to what happened 50 years ago? What specifically about life now makes him change his mind?
If he’s being intensely bullied now… how is that different to what happened 50 years ago? What specifically about life now makes him change his mind?
See lessA detective being investigated on historic corruption charges becomes an ideal candidate for an off-the books assignment to locate missing evidence.
Agree with Nettle and variable. Also, there are potentially two stories in the current logline: the corruption charges and the off-the-books assignment. They need to be connected to each other somehow. If this isn't your plan consider making the detective someone who was charged with corruption butRead more
Agree with Nettle and variable. Also, there are potentially two stories in the current logline: the corruption charges and the off-the-books assignment. They need to be connected to each other somehow. If this isn’t your plan consider making the detective someone who was charged with corruption but got off on a technicality (or something like that). Then you don’t need to worry about resolution but you can still have a reveal as to whether he was guilty or not that plays into the off-the-books assignment story. I hope that makes sense.
See lessLOGLINE FOR A ‘PSYCH-THRILLER’ In order to restore virtue following a discriminatory arrest, a gutsy but ill-fated escort-worker must withstand and negotiate her way through, the next 24 hours locked-down alongside a parasitic anti-social, who evidently knows more about her than she should.
For the audience to root for the protagonist she needs to be actively trying to achieve her goal. This protagonist seems like through a series of unfortunate events she ends up in a prison cell where her only goal is to maintain control. I get that there?ll be some conflict and a connection betweenRead more
For the audience to root for the protagonist she needs to be actively trying to achieve her goal. This protagonist seems like through a series of unfortunate events she ends up in a prison cell where her only goal is to maintain control. I get that there?ll be some conflict and a connection between the two that?ll be revealed over time but I?m not sure that?s enough for a two hour film. Her freedom isn?t her choice either. The logline needs to tell us what she is actually trying to achieve and how she?s going about it.
Definitely drama not thriller. British and Urban – if the whole thing is set in a prison cell largely focusing on just two characters how is it considered British and urban when it could be set anywhere?
For the record, I think there?s potentially a good idea in here I just think the information given through the logline isn?t enough yet. Take the action out of the prison. Why can?t she be arrested and let out on bail then that creepy girl she met at the prison (who you got the sense knows the protagonist) turns up on her doorstep? Now I?m interested.
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