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Being mocked for his frequent hemorrhoids, a frustrated teenager forms a group with elderly patients to protest and make people sympathetic towards them.
Perhaps change it from elderly patients to elderly sufferers or even "the haemorrhoidic?elderly".Since anyone at any age can get haemorrhoids (although it's more common in older age), couldn't it be a "forms a support group of fellow sufferers..."If the aim of the protagonist is to raise awareness aRead more
Perhaps change it from elderly patients to elderly sufferers or even “the haemorrhoidic?elderly”.
Since anyone at any age can get haemorrhoids (although it’s more common in older age), couldn’t it be a “forms a support group of fellow sufferers…”
If the aim of the protagonist is to raise awareness about haemorrhoids and make them more accepted in society then surely having a diverse group of sufferers will say a lot more than a group of the stereotypical elderly sufferers.
See lessBeing mocked for his frequent hemorrhoids, a frustrated teenager forms a group with elderly patients to protest and make people sympathetic towards them.
I really like the idea of a young person teaming up with a team of elderly patients but I agree with all the other comments. Definitely think there's a possible story here I'm just not sure it should revolve around haemorrhoids. Maybe the kid gets in trouble with the law and has to do community servRead more
I really like the idea of a young person teaming up with a team of elderly patients but I agree with all the other comments. Definitely think there’s a possible story here I’m just not sure it should revolve around haemorrhoids. Maybe the kid gets in trouble with the law and has to do community service with the elderly. He thinks it’s gonna be a real chore but actually starts enjoying his time with them so much that he starts campaigning for them to get better treatment in the community.
See lessWhen a cash-hungry escort driver gets wind of an easy score, his life becomes ever more obscure the deeper he commits to it and the people involved.
Again, I don't think the inciting incident is when he assembles his crew - this is not what kick starts the story. The inciting incident is the moment he recognises his connection to the victim because that's what the story is about. I think the fact that he's assembled a team of people is actuallyRead more
Again, I don’t think the inciting incident is when he assembles his crew – this is not what kick starts the story. The inciting incident is the moment he recognises his connection to the victim because that’s what the story is about. I think the fact that he’s assembled a team of people is actually kind of irrelevant to the story (with the info we’ve been given).
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