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A widower, coping with the suicide of her wife, must battle against a corrupt corporate superpower and control to her growing supernatural abilities to save her daughter who they claim does not exist.
I agree with variable.The death of her wife is part of her backstory that will be very important for her character development but, ultimately, has no impact on?her objective goal of saving her daughter.Can you give us a characteristic for the protagonist? Something that hints at her arc is the usuaRead more
I agree with variable.
The death of her wife is part of her backstory that will be very important for her character development but, ultimately, has no impact on?her objective goal of saving her daughter.
Can you give us a characteristic for the protagonist? Something that hints at her arc is the usual suggestion – what is her biggest flaw?
Where did her supernatural abilities come from? I feel like there’s a load of plot missing that I need to understand what’s going on. Fantasy and SciFi in particular often benefit from a bit of world building at the start of the logline. What, specifically, are these supernatural abilities and how are they going to help our protagonist achieve the goal?
I’m also struggling to understand what the relationship between the corporate superpower and the daughter is. Surely, if this woman knows she has a daughter (she either birthed her or her partner did) then what difference does it make if the corporate superpower makes a claim that she doesn’t exist? She knows she exists. There’d be a birth certificate or pictures or whatever else that is undeniable proof. So what is the event that happens that throws that into question and puts her daughter at risk? That, to me, seems like the inciting incident.
See lessAfter a bandmate and childhood friend struggles with drug and alcohol addiction, three best friends must fight against losing their recording contract.
The goal should be to get their friend sober so they don't risk their recording contract or his life. What's different about this to say "Bohemian Rhapsody"?
The goal should be to get their friend sober so they don’t risk their recording contract or his life.
What’s different about this to say “Bohemian Rhapsody”?
See lessA computer hacker uses a computer that turns back time so that he stop a young woman turned cyborg from invading his town.
So... The Terminator with a few changes that make it less compelling? Why does the cyborg invade the town? When she's just one, surely it's not too hard for the town collectively to figure out how to stop her? Why the computer hacker? Why him over everyone else? It's interesting that he's a hacker bRead more
So… The Terminator with a few changes that make it less compelling?
Why does the cyborg invade the town? When she’s just one, surely it’s not too hard for the town collectively to figure out how to stop her?
Why the computer hacker? Why him over everyone else? It’s interesting that he’s a hacker but his goal needs to tie his profession in a little more I think.
See less