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When passengers on a plane get murdered one by one, the crew must find the killer among them before there is only one left. [Title: Passengers, this isn’t your Captain speaking].
Why is someone murdering people seemingly at random? There must be a reason for it. All the best guys ever written have a motive. Without it they're just flat, lifeless, and unbelievable. The idea of a murder mystery on a plane is interesting though. I'd give us a single protagonist rather than justRead more
Why is someone murdering people seemingly at random? There must be a reason for it. All the best guys ever written have a motive. Without it they’re just flat, lifeless, and unbelievable.
The idea of a murder mystery on a plane is interesting though.
I’d give us a single protagonist rather than just “the crew”. Who is “the detective” in this mystery?
Title wise… it’s a bit long. I’ve flown a lot and never heard the captain address the passengers as “passengers”. Usually, “ladies and gentlemen” or similar. Also, this title, to me, suggests something comedic. Is that the case? Murder on the Orient Express but on a plane? Murder at 36,000 feet? Maybe this is the maiden voyage of a new airliner? I’m just thinking out loud.
I think the premise is interesting. Just need to work on the execution.
See lessIn a bid to search for her missing brother in Nepal, a Cambodian socialite poses as a doctor in a local earthquake relief mission. And as the location of his last known location draws closer, she comes to learns the preciousness of human relationships but must also come to terms with the possibility of her brother’s death.
This is too long. A logline should be under 40 words max. "poses as a doctor" - how? Surely these kind of things are pretty heavily monitored and it's not gonna take long before she's found out. Also, your protagonist is someone who will knowingly put others at risk in order to find her brother. WhyRead more
This is too long. A logline should be under 40 words max.
“poses as a doctor” – how? Surely these kind of things are pretty heavily monitored and it’s not gonna take long before she’s found out. Also, your protagonist is someone who will knowingly put others at risk in order to find her brother. Why does she need to be in disguise?
“comes to learn the preciousness of human relationships” – what does this look like on screen? If she’s there to find her brother, it would suggest that she already understands how special some relationships are.
“come to terms with the possibility of her brother’s death” – again, what does this look like on screen?
A lot of what you have described here is happening inside the character’s head. A logline doesn’t need to concern itself with that. It simply needs to suggest an arc. I think the basic idea though, a sheltered socialite searching for her missing brother after a natural disaster, is great!
When her brother is missing after an earthquake in Nepal, a sheltered, narcissistic socialite travels to find him amidst the aftermath which devastated the country and its people.
It’s tricky with her character flaw because if you say she’s selfish, people will ask why is she trying to find her brother. I’m hoping that sheltered will suggest she hasn’t experienced much of the world and narcissistic will cover the attitude but still allow a little room for her to care about her brother. Sheltered alone might work just as well. It’s not perfect, admittedly.
See lessA pizza delivery driver that resents Superheroes, is inadvertently stuck protecting one when the worlds greatest supervillain arrives in his city during a typical afternoon shift.
How can a pizza delivery driver protect a superhero from a supervillain? Based on the logline, there?s nothing wrong with the superhero, so since he has super powers (and the pizza delivery driver doesn?t) surely the superhero should be protecting, not just the driver, but the whole city. I feel likRead more
How can a pizza delivery driver protect a superhero from a supervillain? Based on the logline, there?s nothing wrong with the superhero, so since he has super powers (and the pizza delivery driver doesn?t) surely the superhero should be protecting, not just the driver, but the whole city. I feel like there?s a key piece of information missing.
Scrap ?during a typical afternoon shift?. Everything that happens in a film is about taking the characters out of the ordinary.
I like the idea of a normal person having to protect a superhero but it?s gotta make sense. There?s got to be a reason why he can?t. I think this is fundamental to understanding this story.
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